A first Christmas ~ the Santa conversation

I think it was way back in October when WuYi first asked me about Santa Claus.  She had seen images of the jolly elf when she lived in China (so did Don and I ~ he was randomly featured taped up in store windows, sun faded,very out of season, and usually next to Darth Vader or Barack Obama) but she had no idea his purpose or true identity.  I was poorly prepared for the conversation ~ I figured I had at least another month before Santa would enter general conversation ~ but I did my best to wing it.  I explained that Santa was a very nice fellow in a fancy red suit, who once a year visited homes of children and left them presents.  That time of year was Christmas.  She had known a bit about Christmas for several months, as we have a year-round Christmas store in downtown Coeur d'Alene which features trees decorated in every imaginable theme.  Wu Yi loves to go inside and admire the tree decorated in pink with ballet slippers, tutus, and tiaras.  Anyway, before I could explain much more, she interupted me and demanded to know if he was REAL.  Yikes!  After a  moment I knew that I had no choice but to tell her the truth.  I have done my best for almost a year to form a trusting relationship with her and its just not worth risking.  Besides, Santa is supposed to bring presents to all the children of the world, and WuYi was never included in that story.  She enjoyed the Christmas conversation immensely (especially knowing we would decorate a tree, bake cookies, and get presents) and I had to caution her not to tell other kids that Santa wasn't legit.  She was pretty confused about why parents would lie to their kids about such a thing.  The best I could offer her by way of explanation was to say "because its fun".  As she bounced off my bed, satisfied with her understanding of things, I quickly realized that I had a big problem.  My 9 year old son, Evan, is still a believer. (What have I done???!!!)

Ski Season

Kellen on his snowboard

Evan on his skis

Wu Yi's first run on the bunny hill

Evan and Wu Yi taking a break

Daniel giving Wu Yi some pointers

We are definitely a skiing family!  Don has been a ski instructor for over 15 years.  Daniel got his first job this winter as a Jr ski instructor.  All three of the boys were on skis at the age of 3.  I started skiing as an adult. I'm not a bad skier, but not really a good one either.  Don gets the credit for our kids loving the mountain and I love watching them get better each year.  Daniel started outskiing me about 3 years ago.  Kellen and I were evenly matched about that same time, and then he switched to snowboarding.  I'm sure Evan will be hot on my tail this year!

Wu Yi saw the occasional snowfall in China.  It was never more than an inch or two, and it was never meant to play in. 

When she first landed in the US, 9 1/2 months ago, there was alot of snow on the ground.  I don't know if she was excited by it or not.  She was a pretty unhappy girl at the time ~ she had alot of other things on her mind, I'm quite sure.  By the time she started to come out of her shell, the snow had melted for the season.

One thing Wu Yi spends hours doing is looking at our family photo albums.  She pours over every photo and wants to know every story.  She reminds me of things we did years ago that I have a hard time even remembering.  She is learning our history this way and I think she really wants to have every experience that she missed out on. This is how she learned that snow really IS meant for playing in.

Before fall was over, she started talking about playing in snow.  She wanted to make a snowman, a snow angel, ride on a sled, wear new snow boots (she tried to throw her old red ones away ~ AAAGGGHHH!), have a snowball fight, and go skiing.  I took her to the ski swap and bought her some new pink skis.  (This was a first.  Don usually takes care of all the skiing equipment and the boys have never had anything new.  Despite this, she was still rather indignant that she was getting boots that were handed down from Evan ~ they were PURPLE and WHITE.  I mean, poor Evan!)  She was also unhappy to not get ski "sticks" (poles).  Had to explain to her that she had to learn to move without them first.

We headed up to the mountain for Don and Daniel to do some orientation for their jobs.  We really didn't plan to take WuYi out to ski until Don could go with her (he was recovering from surgery and wasn't ready to put skis on).  We took her skis up anyway and as soon as she saw the other skiiers, she was ready to try it!  Schweitzer has whats called a "magic carpet" which is a gentle slope on the top of the bunny hill that has a carpet escalator that takes kids slowly back to the top.  (Much less scary than the chair lift).  Don walked along with her as she skied down the slope and then rode back up.  She was a little nervous and uncomfortable and at the end of the first run she asked to go in the lodge.  Don encouraged her to do "two more runs"  (each run took about 10 minutes).  By the time she finished the 2nd run, she asked Don if she could do "nine more runs"!  He was amazed by how coordinated, strong, and competitive she is. I can't believe we got a daughter that loves to camp and ski as much as we do!  How cool is that!

The next day she wanted to ski the entire bunny hill.  Don was working and I hadn't taken my skis up.  Another friend of ours offered to take her, but Wu Yi really wanted me to go.  (And, of course, I didn't want to miss it!)  I coached her a bit on turning and stopping and then enlisted Evan to take the lead.  The two of them skied while I hiked down behind them in my snow boots.  She got a little nervous on some of the steeper sections and when people skied by her too closely, but she was really determined to do it and only wrecked once or twice.  (They weren't really too bad ~ mostly  "sit downs").  I was nervous about getting on the chair lift with her.  Despite the fact that I consider myself an outgoing and adventurous person, I have a tiny fear of heights.  I'm okay being responsible for myself on the lift, but I freak out a little bit if the person next to me needs any kind of help.  The lift operator was very helpful getting her on, and I protectively put my ski pole across her lap.  She gave me a dirty look and said "why are you doing that?"  (I guess she must have noticed that no other kids' moms were doing that).  Anyway, as soon as we were in the air, she started giggling hysterically and saying "I'm flying!  I'm flying!".  No fear at all!  She skied a few more runs and was tired but very happy by the end of the day.

Thanksgiving

What I'm thankful for!!

November

wu yi happy wu yi likes school i like to play with my friends eva

In case you were wondering how Wu Yi is doing in school, here she is getting ready to board the bus!  She has been riding the bus independently for the past two months.  Most of the time Evan is with her, but sometimes he has to go earlier by car for marimbas practice.  She typed the sentence below the picture ~ I only had to tell her how to spell "happy", "school" and "friends".  She loves that it is cold enought to wear her hot pink coat from China, and I love that she is so easy to find when she has it on!  :)

She continues to be in a regular 2nd grade classroom most of the day, with some time out to work with the ESL (English as a 2nd language) teacher, the speech therapist, and the reading specialists.  When in the regular classroom, she is frequently paired up with another student to work on assignments (usually her best friend Grace who is extremely smart!).  Wu Yi isn't bothered with receiving help, but when she is ready to do the material alone, she make that message very clear.  Her teacher says she is quick to raise her hand, rarely seems frustrated, and works very hard to follow along.  She is almost caught up to 2nd grade level in many of her math concepts (which she had started in China).  She gets many comments on how neat her writing is (another skill she mastered in China).  She has worked hard to master a good understanding of most of the alphabet sounds, and with this skill, she is starting to sound out words!  Whenever we read together, she drags her finger along under the words.  She has always loved to draw pictures and now she is adding captions to them.  In the car, she is initiating spelling games.  She gets her weekly homework assignments every Monday (some of it is the same as her classmates, and some of it is modified for her) and she is eager to get it done ASAP.  Such a bright and motivated girl! 

She continues to be very social and talks endlessly about her American girlfriends!

Wu Yi's first school concert, held on Veteran's Day.  The theme is "America"!  For several weeks leading up to this performance, she was singing her little heart out around the house ~ songs like "America the Beautiful" and "You're a Grand Old Flag".  She, of course, had to wear red, white, and blue on the big night.  She did really well!  I'm sure it must have been intimidating to stand before an auditorium of parents and be in the front row.  I was very emotional watching her.   This little Chinese girl who no longer speaks Mandarin, who only wants the blue eyed blonde Barbies, who hands the chop sticks back and asks for a fork instead.  I didn't want her to lose these things, but I realize that, for her, this is survival.  Its best to just let it happen.  Maybe down the road, she will look back and find her Asian heritage.

She continues to talk about her life in China, however.  I've learned more about her life with "Grandma", her foster mom that raised her from 18 months to 5 years.  We found a photo of the two of them together (thanks Ruby) and I framed an 8x10 of it and Wu Yi has it next to her bed.  She misses this woman very much and I am frustrated to not be able to communicate with her directly.  I send photos of Wu Yi to the orphanage every few months and can only hope they might share this information with Grandma.  Wu Yi tells me she was a foster mom to several of the orphanage kids and that she only lives a short walk away.  They were very poor, lived in a tiny house which leaked when it rained (Wu Yi would get wet in her bed).  They didn't have indoor plumbing and the outhouse smelled very bad.  They occasionally looked for food in the street.  Wu Yi was very nervous sharing some of these details with me.  I think she was afraid I would judge her or Grandma for being so poor.  You would never know she endured these living conditions, as she is very meticulous about grooming and food habits.  Grandma was always very kind to Wu Yi and when she was taken to live in the orphanage (to be placed for adoption), it was a tearful and difficult separation for both of them. I wish I could thank her for raising such a wonderful girl.

Wu Yi never understood why she went to the orphanage.  She grew to be happy there, especially to be surrounded by so many friends.  She didn't know it was temporary.  She didn't understand that all of the kids there were waiting for new permanent homes.  She is just now starting to understand the story of her life and the lives of her friends.  Its fortunate that both Evan and I have our own adoption stories to share with her, as this information is overwhelming for her to process.  She really handles it well though.  She is filled with questions and she also has some answers for me.   Together we are figuring it out!

First snow!

Halloween, one year later

My first post to this blog was just about one year ago.  It featured a photo of the boys in their Halloween costumes and I wondered out loud what this year would be like, and what kind of costume my new daughter would choose.  Well, I definitely got a "girly" girl and here she is in her green fairy dress (complete with wings, wand, hair accessories, and heels)!  She spent quite awhile shopping for this outfit.  She asked a million questions about the purpose of it all.  She finally narrowed it down to about 3 of the "wings and lace" variety.  I think her plan was to do Halloween "Oscars" style, with multiple back stage costume changes (presumably to take place in the girls lavatory at school).  She gave a big sigh at having to pick only one, but happily clutched the Kmart bag all the way home. 

I think she must have felt the need to do several dress rehearsals before the big night.  She would disappear into her room and close the door with strict instructions for everyone to "stay out" for "just a few minutes".  The green glitter, which remained in her hair, was the only giveaway of any suspicious wardrobe activities.  When she finally did model the dress publicly, she was very satisfied (although a bit bashful) with the praise of her absolute beauty.  We looked at blog photos of her best friend from China (Eva), who also had a beautiful Halloween costume (Snow White), and Wu Yi talked about how great it would be for all the kids at the orphanage to see how cute they both looked today.

On Halloween morning, she was up and dressed for school bright and early!  She was a little nervous about wearing a costume to school, and needed lots of encouragement from Evan (who sported his Crayon Box costume with easy confidence).  Once we arrived at the playground, however, she was absolutely delighted to see all of her friends dressed up.  She continued to ask me "why?" about a dozen more times (her favorite word ~ my 8 year old toddler), but when the bell rang she waved goodbye and ran off with her group of girlfriends.

Halloween night was beautiful and not too cold.  Wu Yi, Evan, and I went out with some friends and their daughter, while the older boys went out on their own (last year for Daniel!).  Wu Yi was a little uncertain at first.  She told me "You aren't supposed to take candy from strangers.  Do you know all these people??"  (Again, there is my good girl who listens so carefully at school!).  Fortunately, we have lived in this neighborhood for 11 years and I do, in fact, know most of these people, so I was able to reassure Wu Yi for her safety.  She followed Evan and Jordyn to the first house and hesitantly accepted some candy.  She was a little more confident at the second house.  By the third house, she was racing ahead and yelling "Cmon" to the other kids!  We stayed out for about an hour, and then she was ready to go home.  She came in the house, put her bag of candy in the kitchen, changed into her pj's, and was pretty much ready for bed.  She thought that was all there was to it.  She was gravely mistaken! 

As the boys returned home, she learned the "proper" way to come home from a night of trick-or-treating.  First, you select your spot on the floor in the living room ~ giving yourself plenty of space.  Then, you dump all your candy into a big pile, stand back, and admire how you got the most candy of all!  Then, the sorting process happens ~ you divide into the Tootsie Pop pile, the various chocolate piles, the fruity Skittles and Starburst piles, etc, etc.  And then you rank the piles by most coveted vs the up-for-trade variety.  And then the bartering begins.  Candy is traded, a few of the favorite pieces are eaten, and then Mom finally says "no more eating candy!!".  Then (and only then), is Halloween finally complete.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Earlier in October, Wu Yi returned to surgery.  She was struggling with speech therapy and needed a "touch up/tightening" surgery to the back of her throat.  This was an unexpected procedure (although about 25% of CLP kids need it) and I hated explaining to her why it was necessary.  Wu Yi has made amazing progress in learning English.  She has sacrificed her native language to do so.  She survives in public school on her own and yet, she needs a surgery so people can "understand her better".  Despite facing another major surgery, however, she just sort of "shrugs her shoulders" and says "oh well".  She is so brave and trusting of what I tell her is necessary.

After the nightmare that was "surgery #1", she was only nervous about the IV.  She had several IV's last time and it always hurt when the medicine was going in.  Otherwise, she was confident about going into the cold operating room with the anesthesiologist, and breathing with the mask to go to sleep.  She didn't even need premedication to make her sleepy first. What a grown up girl!

Like the last surgery, she woke up wild and screaming.  (Last time it was "mommy mommy".  This time it was "mommy daddy").  She couldn't swallow, had a mouthful of blood, couldn't breathe through her nose, and was in alot of pain.  Heartbreaking, but so satisfying to know that we are the most important people in the world to her now.  Things settled down within an hour and later that afternoon, she was trying to drink and eat jello/ice cream in an effort to go home.  She had no desire to spend 10 days in the hospital again.  (Last time I think she liked being in the hospital because Don wasn't there.  Thank God those days are gone!!!!)  We went home the next afternoon, but it was, once again, a struggle to get her to eat and take medicine.  The first couple of days I held the threat of having to take her back to the hospital for an IV over her head in order to keep her hydrated.  She lost alot of weight and I lost alot of sleep:)  Not only did I worry about her eating and drinking enough, I also had her sleeping in my room, and she is now a major snorer!  Snoring is a side effect of this surgery and she is really loud.  Hopefully it will only last 6-12 months.   Despite it all, she seems to sleep just fine.

She needed pain medication for about a week, started eating and drinking well at about that same time too, and went back to school about 10 days post op.  On her follow up visit, the surgeon was very pleased, and she starts going back to speech therapy this week.  She sounds different.  She used to be very nasally.  Now she sounds like her nose is plugged up with a cold.  Lets hope the speech therapist can make some progress with her now!

Her next surgery will be in about 15-18 months.  It is to put a bone graft from her hip into the gap between her front teeth where the cleft was, so teeth can come down in that space.  She will need to get braces on her teeth next May in preparation for this surgery.  Both Evan and Daniel have braces so she is cool with that.  Hopefully the only remaining surgery will be to fix her nose and that can't be done until she is fully grown.

October!

It seemed like there was so much to post when our daughter first arrived to her new home.  Then things kind of settled in for awhile.  Now, she is, again, a whirlwind of progress and news and I am constantly amazed by and thankful for the gift in my life that is Wu Yi.

School continues to go very well.  She is happy to go in the mornings, and is a mixture of contentment, chatter, and exhaustion in the evenings.  She continues to spend most of her day in a regular 2nd grade class, with some added time with the ESL teacher and the reading specialist each day.  Her homework is modified and a new packet of it comes home every Monday.  There is always an attached "post it" note that says "Please have Wu Yi take her time and return when complete."  Well, Wu Yi is very driven to sit down and do all of her homework on the first day!  She is a perfectionist, with very neat writing, and asks me to make sure all of her answers are correct when she is done.  Both Don and I encourage her to take her time ~ I'm sure her teacher intends for the work to take a couple of weeks (its probably pretty time consuming just putting it together!), but Wu Yi seems to get anxious if it isn't complete right away.  She explains that her homework in China was fairly difficult, time consuming, serious business.  I tell her that, in America, homework is serious business too, but, for 2nd graders, after school play time is just as important.  (This is usually met with a fairly skeptical expression from her.)  The homework is also labor intensive for Don and I.  Many of the concepts are new to her, but she is so smart and eager to learn!  She does well with almost everything, except phonics.  She struggles with "sounding out" words.  I think this is mainly because she is physically unable to make some of the letter sounds.  She is definitely going to do better with just memorizing "sight words".  More on this issue in a few minutes . . .

One of the main things Wu Yi enjoys about going to school is having a group of new friends!  She chatters on endlessly about the names of the kids in her class, and especially the couple of girlfriends that she eats lunch with and plays with during recess.  For the past two weeks, all I hear about is GRACE!  Her new BFF!  So, after endless questions about when Grace can come to play, Wu Yi finally has the nerve to give Grace our phone number and then ask for hers in return.  That very day, Wu Yi came home proudly carrying what I thought must be a winning lottery ticket ~ but was actually just a phone number.  :)  We had to wait until the weekend to call, but today was the day, and Grace came over to play.  (When I called Grace's mom to introduce myself, I was surprised to find out that she already knew all about Wu Yi and that Grace has been wanting to be friends with my daughter for 6 months!).  The girls played Barbies, dressed up like princesses, jumped on the trampoline, and then we went to see the Lion King in 3D.  (Wu Yi's hands were stretched out in front of her almost the entire movie.)  They were endlessly hugging each other and Wu Yi was so happy, she frequently came to hug me and say "thank you".  It is amazing how well Grace understands what Wu Yi is saying.  I was stunned when she actually translated one thing she said to me!!

Continuing on the subject of BFFs . . . .Wu Yi's best friend from China ~ Eva (formerly Yu Cheeong), called on the phone last week!  As you may remember from previous posts, Eva is a year younger than Wu Yi and she just joined her forever family in New Hampshire.  On her last day in China, Eva's mom decided to call us at home (unexpectedly!).  The two girls, who had shared a twin bed in the orphanage, had not seen or talked to each other in 7 months.  Wu Yi knew this day was coming, and she had expressed some nervousness about not remembering how to speak Chinese.  I knew this was a possibility, but thought it would all come back to her as soon as her friend started speaking.  Unfortunately, this was not the case.  Her eyes were lit up so bright as she took the phone, and as Eva started excitedly chattering, Wu Yi's face became a combination of confusion and frustration.  She covered up the mouthpiece of the phone and whispered to me "whats she saying???".  I took the phone back and talked to Eva's mom for a moment and soon Wu Yi gestured to me that she wanted to try again.  The second time went a little better.  She hesitantly whispered a few Chinese words and then gained some confidence and talked with a mixture of Chinese and English words.  We kept the phone call fairly brief, with the promise that we would Skype when Eva got to the states.  Wu Yi was so happy when the call was over.  She missed her friend terribly! She asked me how long it would take Eva to learn English and then said she would like to talk to her again then.  My mission for the weekend is to get my Skype camera working and hopefully the girls can see each other face to face in just a few more days.  That should, hopefully, make communication easier.

One thing great about being an American is getting to celebrate holidays almost monthly.  Wu Yi is fascinated about this part of our culture, and she is definitely interested in Halloween.  As soon as we saw our first pumpkin in the grocery store, she asked to buy one and wanted to know exactly how the carving business happens.  We took a trip to Greenbluff and spent the day picking apples and pumpkins.  She also got her first pony ride there, and loved the petting zoo and tractor ride.  She is currently undecided about a costume (these things take time for a girl who likes to shop you know) and she asks endless questions about why people like to be scared, and why people actually GET scared about things that aren't even real.  Just as trick-or-treating was starting to get a little tiresome, we are all getting excited to go and see what she thinks of it.

Back to the speech issue.  Despite the fact that Wu Yi healed up so well from her palate surgery and that she worked very hard for months in speech therapy, she continues to struggle with many of our language sounds and our speech therapist recommended that we go back and see her surgeon.  He needed to look into the back of her throat and used a small camera that he threaded up her nose to do it.  (Not much fun for her, but she was very brave and earned a little pool toy for her Barbies).  Her palate still looks good and the muscles under it should be working, but they are not.  Without the movement of these muscles, it is impossible for Wu Yi to make the "explosive" letter sounds like "k", "g", "t", etc.  Her surgeon feels that the nerves which should be signaling these muscles to move are nonfunctional (from 8 years of non-use) and that they will never work.  Without another surgery, Wu Yi's speech will not improve.  So, on Oct 19, we are scheduled to return for a "pharyngoplasty", which is a surgery on her throat (vs her last surgery which was just to the roof of her mouth).  This will be very similar to the first surgery in terms of length of hospitalization, pain, eating, etc.  Hopefully we won't be in the hospital for 10 days again!  We were told that she should sound different almost immediately (there won't be as much air leaking out of her nose when she talks) but that she could develop a significant snoring problem.  I didn't think snoring was such a big deal, but our surgeon says if she develops periods of "sleep apnea" during the night, she may become a very different child due to lack of sleep.  This is usually a temporary problem, lasting 6 months to a year, but, if severe, the surgery may need to be reversed.  Wish us luck!

Happy 14th Daniel!

Photos by Wu Yi

Happy September!

Wu Yi made it through an entire week of school, all by herself!  She made some new friends, was very excited to tell me about pictures she had colored, games she had played, and being able to sing and dance.  She mastered the big slide, and the monkey bars.  She did her best on all assignments.  The faculty at her school are asounded at the transformation which took place over the summer.  I am so relieved!  And so proud!

We are still enjoying a beautiful summer, with temps in the 90's.  I had a wonderful, and much needed, four days of "vacation" with time to myself everyday from 9-3:30!  Back to reality on Monday.

2nd grade ~ Going Solo!

Today Wu Yi started 2nd grade!  We have been preparing her all summer, but until today, I just couldn't predict how she would do. 

 We spent the Labor Day weekend camping with other families, and she made some new friends.  She happily held hands with her two BFF's (Elizabeth and Malyn) and even developed a little crush on Elizabeth's 16 year old cousin, Mason.  I was so pleased to see her forming these new relationships ~ just in time!

She proudly packed her new princess backpack, both with new American school supplies and also her treasured Chinese pencil box.  She helped me pack her lunch in her Hello Kitty lunch box (it has been a challenge to find foods she likes which don't have to be heated ~ she is a big meat/rice/noodle fan).  She said goodbye to her brothers ~ first Daniel off to the high school, then Kellen off to middle school, and finally she and Evan climbed into the car for their trip to Bryan Elementary.  She posed for photos both outside and inside the school (posing for photos on demand ~ woo hoo!!!)  She said "hi" to 3 new people in the hall (I was SO proud of that ~ I have been telling her that is the best way to make new friends and she was ON IT!)  We dropped Evan off at his new class and then went to her classroom.  She found her desk, sat down, unpacked her backpack, and finally looked around at the other kids and their moms.  She seemed pretty confident so I told her what time I would be back, hugged her goodbye, gave her teacher my cell phone number, and left. 

My phone was silent all day (Woo Hoo ~ free mom time!!) and I was eager to return at 3:30 to see how she did.  I spied from the hallway for the last 10 minutes and was so proud to see her confidently finishing an assignment, packing up her things, lining up to go to her locker, and finally leaving the classroom to find me when the bell rang.  She was happy and eager to show me her work.  She told me how fun recess was (3 of them!), how she saw Evan at lunch, how she shared chocolate kisses in the cafeteria (so I'm not above bribery!), and how she was quiet when her teacher was talking even though other kids were not.  (That's my girl!)  We drove home and she promptly pulled all the usual parent paperwork out of her folders (she wanted to know what they all said, too), then she opened the pantry, pulled out some microwave popcorn, cooked it herself, turned on the TV and started chillaxin!  Big day!  I hate to see Wu Yi lose her Chinese-ness, but she is becoming quite an American girl!

6 months

We are in the final countdown to the end of summer vacation.  The weather started off so crummy, but the past 6 weeks have been sunny and beautiful!  I love living in Coeur d'Alene! I am training for my first ultramarathon and the quiet weekend morning long runs are so peaceful and scenic.  Whether I'm up on the trails or down by the lake, I am always content to occupy this place.

Its been a good summer for our family of 6 as well.  We went on several camping trips, including a week at Glacier, and spent plenty of days on the beach.  Daniel and Kellen have discovered the local "rock jumps" around the lake, and I shudder to watch them taking the plunge from such heights!  It wouldn't be summer without at least one day at Silverwood Theme Park, and Wu Yi got her first taste of carnival rides.  Initially, she was panicky about the "funny tummy jumping" feeling, but after some reassurance that those feelings were normal, she delighted in the Tilt-a-whirl, roller coaster, carousel, and flying Dumbos.  She loves to be in the water and is less dependent on wearing goggles.  She is starting to notice that other kids swim in deep water without Barbie lifejackets, and I think she may be ready to start swimming lessons soon.  She is willing to jump off the side of the pool and put her face in the water to blow bubbles ~ this is amazing progress for a girl who was so upset by a drop of water getting in her face 6 months ago.

We traveled to the Washington coast last month to spend a week with some friends at their beach house.  They have a daughter close to Wu Yi's age, and I am proud to report that Wu Yi made her first friend!  When first introduced, she was her usual suspicious self, but the lure of Barbies got the best of her and within a 1/2 hour, the two girls were playing together without me in the room.  By bedtime that night, they were snuggled up together in bed, giggling happily.  I'm not sure how much Wu Yi's new friend could understand her language (great English, still some cleft related speech issues though), but the two girls didn't seem to be concerned about communicating.  Wu Yi really admired Elizabeth's earrings, and once we returned home, she begged me to take her to get hers done too.  I was a little hesitant about this (had mine pierced 34 years ago and haven't had any experience with the process since!), but she saw some cupcake earrings in the store and was bound and determined to get them!  We researched the responsibility of taking care of pierced ears and Wu Yi promised to follow all directions.  She boldly climbed up in the chair, and the rest is history.  True to her word, every morning and every night, without fail, she asks Don or I to help her with her ear care.  She admires herself in the mirror and I am so happy to see her gain such confidence!

As for Wu Yi's best friend . . . she will be arriving to her new home in America in just a few weeks!  Wu Yi is eagerly setting aside clothes she is outgrowing to send to Yu Cheeong (Eva), and she routinely surveys her favorite toys to hopefully share with her someday.  It is unfortunate that Eva's new home is about as far away as she can be and still be in county, but Wu Yi is eager to Skype with her on the computer.  She tells me she can hardly wait to see her, but she is concerned that she won't remember enough Chinese to speak to her. :(  We have looked into Chinese language classes, but Wu Yi's speech issues are so significant, that she cannot even properly pronounce her native language.  She has been in speech therapy all summer, but unfortunately, her therapist feels she will need even more surgery than we thought in order to master many of the common language sounds.

School starts in 5 days.  The kids are all registered and supplies are in backpacks.  I haven't bought any new clothes as the boys are all running cross country (which means athletic shorts and T shirts everyday) and Wu Yi has plenty of new summer clothes which should be comfortable for most of September.  Daniel is growing so quickly that I don't dare buy anything until absolutely necessary!  It has been quite an adjustment for me, looking up at one of my children!

We were so lucky to have Wu Yi's grandma (who is a 1st/2nd grade teacher) working hard with her all summer to get her ready for 2nd grade.  Wu Yi is a challenge sometimes ~ she pretty much determines her own study agenda and Mary had to be very flexible!  Wu Yi's interest in reading has really taken off.  She tolerates writing and math.  She is a very bright girl with an amazing memory.  I thought she was so catatonic in China that she wouldn't remember much but, actually, she was constantly studying us and it is so interesting to talk to her about her inital impression of those traumatic days.  She continues to talk frequently about her friends and how much she misses them, but she no longer wishes to return to China.  She tells me she loves America and wants to stay with us "forever".  We are so lucky to have this special girl in our life!

Wu Yi continues to gain confidence in her relationships with new people.  She warms to new adults pretty readily (both men and women), but she struggles to trust kids.   If we are out in public and a child looks at her, talks to her, or is laughing near her, she gets mad and comes to me to ask their motives.  I usually tell her that other kids are probably just admiring her pretty clothes or beautiful black hair and this usually satisfies her.  (She doesn't dwell on her nose much anymore!)  The laughter always makes her suspicious though.  I've had to do some conversational role play with her to help her realize that she is not a target, and that other kids will want to be her friend.  She knows that most kids are nice, but that some might be a little naughty.  I have to encourage her to acknowledge kids who approach her.  She is quick to ignore or glare at them and I am trying to help her realize that this will make it hard for her to have friends to play with.  She definitely wants to make friends now, as she is so excited to have a "princess" party on her birthday (April) and wants lots of girls to come with tiaras on.  (She never had a birthday in China.  In fact, she had no concept of age at all.)  We are planning to start her in full day 2nd grade next week.  I know it will be tough for her at first, but I think she can do it.  Her teacher has been involved in tracking her progress through the summer, and she even invited her to spend time in the classroom last week ~ unpacking books together and giving her first pick of lockers.  We have an awesome elementary school!

Our adoption social worker came to do our first post placement home visit.  I am happy to report that I think they are going to let us keep her!  :)

The girls

Photos courtesy of Mema :)

Alpine Slide, Big Mt, Montana

Happy 4th! Happy Daddy!

Wu Yi loves her Daddy!  After 4 months of worry and rejection, this relationship finally transformed!  It just took a bit of time together and suddenly there it is!  This girl, once again, astounds us all with her ability to trust, bond, and love. 

We spent a fun 3 days camping at Priest Lake this weekend.  Wu Yi was the only one brave enough to get in the cold water and she delighted in grabbing Don's hand and trying to pull him in.  When he screamed like a girl (sorry Don, but true) at the water temperature, she laughed and splashed him.  When he retreated to the beach, she would grab his hand and start all over again.  Its a mystery how she is so brave in the water.  I don't think she has any experience with it.  Goggles are a must.  We are very careful to try and keep her face dry, as she has trouble in the bathtub with any water getting near her nose.

She saw her first fireworks, and oohed and aahed over them.  "Beautiful".

She caught 4 fish on her Barbie rod, and demanded to help with the cleaning and cooking of them.  Of course, she also ate them ~ fish is one of her favorite things to eat.  She is very domestic ~ loves to help with any chore.  Why can't my boys be more like her???

Kellen learns to ride

Wu Yi and Evan on the boat

Making birthday cakes in the sand

Daniel, Wu Yi and Kellen

S'mores

Its been such a fun week of activities.  I haven't heard much about her planned return to China.  She did ask about how Don and I decided to adopt her.  I told her how we wanted a daughter with black hair and black eyes and then saw her picture on the computer.  I explained how the nannies at the orphanage told us that she needed a Mommy and Daddy (she is still confused about this ~ she doesn't understand why the orphanage wasn't her permanent home) and that we asked if we could have her and they said "yes".  She thought about this for awhile and then asked me if I could ask the nannies if we could have Yu Cheeong.  I told her that Yu Cheeong already has a new Mommy and Daddy that are going to get her.  She was not happy about this.  She then asked if we could ask for the rest of her friends to come be in our family.  So sad that we cannot do this.  I think about those kids everyday and hope they each find their own families.

Summertime

Its been just over 4 months since we first met our daughter in China.  Its unbelieveable how far she has come.  She is settling in as a member of our family, laughs alot, speaks pretty darn good English, is increasingly confident around new people, and is eagerly experiencing so many new things!  I would describe her as a generally happy girl, despite her sadness at leaving her friends behind and her determination to return to China when she grows up (at least she knows she is staying with us for the duration of her childhood!).

We returned to her surgeon last week to get the final "OK" on her palate repair.  She will continue to follow up with him every six months to make sure that the muscles under the flap are starting to move.  She started speech therapy last week as well, which will be a key component in getting those muscles moving.  Her palate is pretty tight and if she struggles with her speech despite therapy, there is a small possibilty that she would need another procedure to stretch that graft.  Otherwise, her next surgery will be a bone graft to her dental rim which will be taken from her hip at around age 12.  She cannot have any surgery to her nose until she is full grown.  She is otherwise very healthy.

We finished off the school year with her spending 2 1/2 hours each day in the 2nd grade classroom.  She spent part of that time with the ESL (English as a 2nd language) teacher and the rest of that time in small groups.  She was not doing alot of active participation as far as academic work, but she was making definite progress as far as her confidence level with the teachers and kids.  She is fairly determined to not make new friends out of loyalty to her friends in China, but she was smiling, talking, and even hugging some of the teachers by the end of the year.  We are planning to keep her in that same 2nd grade class this fall and are hoping to start her full time as well.  If she isn't ready for a full day in Sept, I'm sure she will be within a couple of months.  My mom has been a lifesaver in helping out with Wu Yi while Don and I are at work.  We started a summer tutoring program for her to try and help her do some catching up.  She does this for about and hour and a half, three days a week.  She is bright and curious about so many things.  She can be stubborn at times about "formal" education, but she will get there.

I am continually amazed how confident she can be!  Despite being basically "abandoned" two times in her fairly recent memory by trusted adults (foster family and orphanage), she has faith in me.  I can leave her to go to work or to go out for a run or even to be gone overnight (when I am on call at the hospital) and she is ok with it.  I show her on her Cinderella watch when I will be home, and tell her specifically who will be with her and what she will be doing.  If I am late coming home, she gets mad at me, so I have learned to give myself some extra time when I point to her watch.

For the first three months of her life in America, sitting in front of the TV was her comfort place.  She watched alot of TV in China and I think it was her "escape" when she was stressed here.  She still loves Barbie and Princess cartoons (and learned alot of new language from them!), but she is starting to show us a whole new outdoor and adventurous side of her personality!  She loves to ride her bike and her scooter.  She loves to hike (and she wants to be in the front ~ leading the way!), she loves to fish (and she can tell a good fish tale about catching the biggest monster in the lake), and she loves to camp.  All of the things we love to do!  We have been on two camping trips and she enjoys everything about them, except the porta potties.  (What is up with that??  Does she not remember squatty potties???)

She has many things on her "wish list" that she asks me to buy her.  Kittens, bunnies, a pink Barbie guitar, a Barbie sing along DVD and microphone, a battery operated stuffed dog that goes for a walk, a fancy swing set for the backyard, ballet lessons, gymnastic lessons, a trip to Disneyland, etc, etc.  Some things I say "yes" to.  Some things I say "maybe when you are bigger" to.  Some things I say "no" to.  We talk about money alot and now, when she sees a fancy swing set, she says to the kids playing on it "You have lots of money!".

And, now for the biggest update . . . Wu Yi and Don are making progress!!  She is no longer afraid of him.  She no longer tenses up when he comes in the house.  She is still mildly uncomfortable around him, but, he takes her hiking and he takes her fishing and he takes her to shoot targets with the coin operated rifles at Cabelas!  In other words, he is a pretty fun guy!  She tells me he is a hairy monkey because of the hair on his arms (actually all men in this country are monkeys), but she is starting to acknowledge him when he talks to her and will actually choose going with him over going with me if he is doing something more fun.  What a huge relief!  I think by the end of the summer, she is going to love him!  :)

Three steps forward. One Step back.

I spend most of my time admiring my daughter with absolute astonishment at her progress, determination, and spirit.  She is affectionate, funny, smart, helpful, and competitive and, although this process has not been easy, I am actually surprised that it hasn't been nearly as hard as I expected.
On rare occasion, she can be stubborn and difficult.  She can stomp her little foot and say "no", although she is usually agreeable to compromise and quickly turns a negative attitiude right back around.  When we had the "name discussion" two nights ago, I was a bit fearful of the potential consequences of changing a name so quickly, and last night my concerns became reality.
I was out with her in our neighborhood ~ she on her bike and me following on foot close behind (well, not so close ~ she is becoming a speedy daredevil on that little pink Barbie machine) and, as usual, we ended up at one of her favorite teachers' house.  When this teacher came out to visit with us, I told her about Wu Yi wanting to be called by her new American name, and the teacher told Wu Yi that she had certainly picked a very beautiful one.  Wu Yi got angry and said she didn't want to be called by that name.  She continued on in a fairly angry rant about how people in America are different than people in China.  We are hairy like monkeys, women with long fingernails are like wicked witches, our food is horrible, and we burp and fart way too much.  She announced to me that when she grows up, she will return to China, and that it would be better if I went and found a daughter with yellow hair and blue eyes who will want to stay in America with me!
Wow!

Whats in a name?

In many ways, Wu Yi is thrilled at being a part of her new American family.  In others, she is firmly loyal to her Chinese heritage.  When Don and I initially referred to ourselves as "Mama" and "Baba", she refused to call us anything.  When we referred to the boys as "her brothers", she angrily shook her head no.  Eventually, she addressed the boys by their first names, and, more recently, she directly addresses Don and I as "Daddy" and "Mommy".  It is a nice change to be called by a name and not just grunted at or called by the nickname "come here".  I don't know exactly where she heard the words "Mommy" and "Daddy".  Our boys don't call us that.  Regardless, we both love to hear those precious titles.
Upon her arrival in the US, Wu Yi already knew how to write her name in both English letters and in Chinese characters.  When she started school, she noticed that her name was being written along with our last name.  She was curious about this "3rd name" and asked what it meant.  I told her that everyone in our family of 6 shared the same last name, and that was how we knew we fit together.  I went down the list of our names (leaving the potentially confusing middle names out) and she was delighted to be a part of our common connection.  She was especially proud to announce that she was the only one who had 3 names!  I hated to burst her bubble by explaining our middle names and let her bask in her personal name glory.
Tonight, during her bath, we were once again talking about her best friend Yu Cheong, who is still in China.  Yu Cheong will be joining her new American family in just a few months and I have been in contact with her adoptive mom on-line. (Long story how we got together, but I am so glad we did!)  I was explaining to Wu Yi that her best friend was getting the new name "Eva".  When Wu Yi heard the name, she gave me a disgusted look and asked "why?".  I told her that sometimes kids get a new American name when they get adopted and that Yu Cheong would be keeping her Chinese name for her middle name and then getting a new family name as well.  Wu Yi pondered this concept for several minutes, got suddenly wide-eyed, and then exclaimed "SHE WILL HAVE 4 NAMES?!!!"  Well, not to be outdone, Wu Yi announced that she wanted a new American name too, so that she would have just as many names as her friend.
Well, I was pretty taken by surprise at this sudden announcement.  Before we went to China, Don and I had discussed American names.  We had a list of about 10 names that we thought Wu Yi might like to choose from.  As it turned out, she had no interest in a new name, and "Wu Yi W." was officially put on her birth certificate.  We knew that she might decide to have an American names in the future, and figured we could change it to whatever she wanted at that time.  As she expectantly sat in the bath and waited for me to assign her a "4th name", I tried to remember what was on that list.  (Funny that I put so much thought into that list just a few short months ago, and tonight I struggled to remember a single name on it!)  I mentioned the names "Sophie", "Megan", "Maura", "Maylee" (not American but it means "beautiful" in Chinese and Don and I both loved it), "Claire", "Quinn" and "Olivia".  She looked disgusted at each of them, with the exception of Olivia.  She started laughing at that one and told me to say it again.  When I did, she laughed again and said "that one is funny".  When I tried to think of the other 3 names on the list, she shook her head and said "Olivia".  I said to her "you want to be called by a name that you think is funny?".  She eagerly nodded and said "Yes. Olivia Wu Yi W."  Then, she decided she wanted to add "Min Yu Ping" (her legal Chinese name) to the list and have 7 names total.  I am hesistant to start calling her Olivia (I actually hate the thought of letting go of Wu Yi right now), but I guess it won't hurt to try it for awhile.  What if we get into the habit of a new name, and she decides to change it again?  (Wouldn't be so unlikely for a strong willed 8 year old!)  I guess we'll give it a try and keep you posted! 

Piecing together a past

Tonite, Wu Yi told me a bedtime story.  Its late and I'm tired and wounded by the story, but I don't want to forget any details, so I'm writing it down as best I can remember now.

Once upon a time, a daughter was born in China.  Initially her "Mommy" rocked her and loved her.  But one day, the daughter's Mommy put the baby girl down in the street and ran away.  She was a "naughty Mommy" for doing that.

A "Grandma" and "Grandpa" happened upon the baby girl in the street and together they exclaimed "Who is this?  Who is this?".  They took the daughter home with them and were very kind to her.  They lived in a tiny home, with a small dog and two small cats.  One of the cats was "very beautiful" and slept next to the daughter every night.  The daughter misses the beautiful cat so much, even to this day.

Eventually, when the daughter was bigger, she came to live at a new home.  This home was very large and very cold inside and, in addition to many "Mamas" and one special "PoPo", the daughter had four new friends there that became her brothers and sisters.  One brother was unable to hear or speak.  One brother was unable to walk.  One sister had feet that were backwards (but she could still run quickly and rarely fell down).  One sister was a baby and needed heart surgery.  The daughter held the baby's hand while she was learning to walk.  One day the baby stopped holding her hand and started walking all by herself!  The daughter was very proud!

Her favorite sister and best friend was Yu Cheeong.  They slept in the same bed together, feet to feet.  It was fun to share a bed.  They also walked to school together each day with one of the "Mamas".  It was a long walk to school and the daughter got tired very easily.  That "Mama" was not patient with her and the daughter was frequently spanked, slapped across the face, and had her ear twisted by the woman.  Despite her best friends club feet, she managed to walk to school fine and was rarely punished in this way.  Once at school, the two friends shared a desk and school supplies and they loved each other very much.

Most of the "Mama's" were very kind.  They put the daughters hair up in ribbons each day, fed her, let her watch TV, and played with her.  They had to cut her hair on occasion and she always hated that.  She thought she looked ugly with short hair.  She also thought she had a very ugly nose.

The story ends there.  I asked if the daughter got a new Mama and Baba and came to America.  She shook her head "no".  She looked fairly confused about what happens to the daughter next.  All she could say, is that when the daughter gets bigger, she is going to finally get her nose fixed.

My Little Lady

Today Wu Yi and I had some serious mother/daughter time.  She was checking out my closet while I was in the shower, and when I came out, I saw she had lined up all of my high heels and was beaming at them and saying "beautiful".  She wanted me to try them all on for her, and the taller they made me, the more she liked them.  We moved on to my dresses and she especially loved my wedding dress.  She didn't want to try them on herself but she loved admiring me. I asked her if she wanted to try on jewelry or paint her nails but she was very dismissive of these ideas.  She has steadily refused to put anything in her hair, wear a dress, or do anything else that may call undue attention to herself.  I hope she overcomes this, as she absolutely loves to admire her beloved princesses and their crowns, dresses, and shoes.

We later went to a clothing store, as I had to look for something pink to wear to a party for a good friend who is battling breast cancer (love you Laura!).  Wu Yi knew what my mission was and she confidently scoured the store, pulling pink items off the rack and holding them up to me.  She would either nod her approval or wrinkle her nose in disapproval.  I didn't find anything good for me, but we moved on to the little girls section and she quickly found a pink dress for herself.  This would be the second frillly pink dress she has picked out ~ unfortunately, the first one still sits untouched in the closet.  I told her I would only buy her dress #2 if she promised to wear it to school.  She thought about it for awhile and then told me she would keep her end of the deal.  She picked out a "Cinderella" tiara as well, and actually modeled it for Evan. (She is quite proud of this treasure!).

This afternoon, she posed with Evan and me for some pictures!  This is the first time, in three months, that she hasn't been irritated by the camera.  Word for the day : "Beautiful".

Finding her Voice

Its been two weeks since Wu Yi came home from the hospital and she has been doing amazingly well.  She continues to eat like crazy, has gained back her weight, and got the "all clear" from her Dr to eat whatever she wants.  The only thing she struggles with is figuring out how to suck through a straw, which is completely backwards from what you would expect with a cleft palate repair!  We met with a speech therapist, and will take her in for her initial evaluation later this month.

She has returned to school and is going everyday with my friend Cheryl for two hours.  She spends the last 45 minutes of this time in a regular 2nd grade classroom.  It has been amazing to watch her gain confidence at school.  For a long time, she would ignore the kids and teachers, and only look at the floor while she was in the building.  Now, she is starting to cautiously look at the kids and the classroom and she is giving an occasional smile to familiar adults.  She has been studying Evan's yearbook carefully and I think this gives her a better feel for the school hierarchy.  She has some understanding of telling time and watching the clock for when she will be picked up, and that gives her more confidence too.  We also decided to hold her back and keep her in this same 2nd grade class in the fall, as well as have a tutor work with her at home this summer.

She started speaking some English in the past two weeks ~ mostly repeating short words and phrases from her favorite Barbie cartoons.  She has been most confident doing this in front of my mom, who babysits Wu Yi while I am at work.  (I went back 1/2 time two weeks ago, and go back full time next week).  Yesterday and today, however, she began speaking conversational English!!  And its not just random words, its complete sentences!  Today she said to me in the car "Grandma's house is that way", "Lets have lunch with Grandma at the park with the big slide", and "Mrs Jensen's little boy got hit and broke his teeth" (that from a story she heard about a teachers son having a baseball accident).  Other new phrases today include "follow me", "catch me",  "push me" (on the swing), "Sami, get your leash", and "let's skip".  What an absolutely delightful girl who continues to laugh and laugh when we play at the park.

She has also been more open and trusting in sharing her photos and treasured China backpack.  She "tells" me (through gestures and miming) about her friends, nannies, and teachers in China.  She considered her closest friends at the orphanage to be her brothers and sisters, and called many nannies "mama".  Because she was in a special needs orphanage, she described to me the various ailments of her friends.  It is heartbreaking to me that she seems to feel defined by her cleft issues.  She asks me regularly when will the Dr fix her nose (she can't have reconstructive surgery until her teens).  People made fun of her nose, and despite having just gone through a very difficult surgery, she is eager to do it again.  It makes me so angry that an 8 year old has been made to feel this way.  She has not given me any clue as to why she avoids having a relationship with Don, but she did point out a picture of a female teacher she had who hit her hands with a ruler and twisted her ear in school.

Along with all of these milestones, she has also become very physically affectionate with me.  She usually likes to act as though she hates to get a hug, but more and more she finds a way to throw herself in my arms, hold my hand, ask for a piggyback ride, or even not pull away when I give her a raspberry kiss on her neck.  I am so proud of all she has overcome.  Summer vacation starts in 4 weeks and Don will be home with her while I am at work.  Lets hope the two of them will find a way into each others hearts.  :)

Home from the Hospital

After a brief, nightmarish, 16 hours at home on day five (pain, vomiting, starvation, constipation), we were readmitted to the hospital on day six. Wu Yi had lost 5 of her precious 43 pounds and could barely stand or keep her head up.  We agressively rehydrated her with an IV, switched from narcotic pain control to IV anti-inflammatory pain control, gave her anti-nausea meds, and a laxative suppository (which produced 4 tearful hours sitting on the toilet).  The second hospital was closer to home, quieter, and we had a private room. My good friend Lisa works there and visited us everyday.  We were much more comfortable there. In the first hospital we were in a "curtain cubicle".  In the second one, I had a garden view and spent my time watching a bird outside the window building a nest.

By day seven, she had perked up and I returned to trying to feed her like a baby bird ~ a couple of sips of 7up or a tiny bite of jello or ice cream every 15 minutes.  Initially she was tearful and resistant to these efforts, but she soon realized that I would quit standing in front of her Barbie cartoons faster if she would just do it! :)  Later that evening, she saw a KFC commercial and got very excited, pointing at it.  This was her first indication of hunger, and on day eight she finally figured out how to chew and swallow!!!  There was no stopping her after that, and we kept a constant supply of food on the bed next to her for the next two days.  When her stomach proved that she could handle it, we got the OK to go home!!  As we were finally leaving the hospital (and out into yet another late snowstorm!), she asked me to take one more detour to the cafeteria so she could eat just a little more.  :)

Surgery

The trip to the hospital went very smoothly.  Maybe too smoothly.  Wu Yi seemed almost eager to go to the hospital.  My mind raced with a bit of panic, wondering what she thought this surgery meant?
The anesthesiologist decided she could go to sleep with a mask and get the IV after she went to sleep.  Despite the fact that Wu Yi was very calm, we opted to give her a sedative before going to the OR, so that she wouldn't remember leaving me.  She has been very clingy to me this week and I promised her that I would stay with her through the whole thing.  (Even though I am an anesthetist, the hospital policy says no parents in the OR).
Surgery took just over 2 hours and the surgeon was very pleased with the outcome.  In his office he had told us to expect 2 days in the hospital, but after the surgery, he said to expect 3 days.  As I walked to see her in the recovery room, I could hear her crying and screaming "Mama, Mama"!  I haven't heard her call me Mama in over 5 weeks!  When she finally saw me, she practically jumped off the bed into my arms and clung to me with all her might.  Poor baby with a very swollen face and bloody nose and mouth.  She had a stitch through her tongue which was connected to a big wad of gauze which hung outside of her mouth.  She howled with pain and fear, but the hospital staff was very attentive with lots of extra pain medicine and she soon settled down.  She clung to me the rest of the afternoon and we slept together in her hospital bed all that night.  Its sadly twisted that traumatic events can create such bonding.
The next day, Wu Yi started signaling to me that we had been in the hospital 2 days and that it was time to go home.  I want so badly for her to trust what I say, and it was frustrating that I had to tell her we couldn't go home until she started to eat.  She was completely unwilling to try any food despite the fact that she said she was starving.  She threw herself into a major tantrum ~ kicking, screaming, arching her back.  This was the first time I had seen a tantrum, but was not at all surprised by it.  It lasted for about an hour and a half.  We had our nurse, the nursing supervisor, the child life specialist, a social worker, and a translator all running to our room to try to calm her down.  Unfortunately, all of these strangers just made her more upset and I sent them away.  Did I mention that we weren't in a private room?  We had a sweet little 4 year old in the bed next to us who had a cleft palate revision on the same day as Wu Yi.  Her mom and I got to be best buddies during our 4 days together.  A second tantrum followed a few hours later and it was decided that Wu Yi needed to be sedated so that she wouldn't damage her mouth with the screaming.  The Ativan knocked her out for the rest of the day.
Day 3 brought 4 more tantrums, although they were less fierce and lasted only a half hour each.  She still refused to eat or drink.  Thank God she slept well all night.
Day 4 was "I'm sick of being here too and you are gonna start eating no matter what" day. :) Our little roommate got to go home and I didn't pack enough underwear and I was becoming tearful myself, so I found the resolve to be more firm with Wu Yi.  Our nurse was willing to help me (brave nurse ~ I think we scared off a few!) and we ganged up on her to take sips of 7up and bites of ice cream.  The effort exhausted me but we made a little progress at last. 
So, here we are at Day 5.  With lots of encouragement, Wu Yi is taking a full ounce (Yes, I said ounce!) of her favorite spicy Chinese broth every hour.  She is switching over from IV Morphine, to liquid oral pain meds this morning as well.  Yucky!  If we can get her to take 2 ounces every hour and continue to get her to take her pain meds, she can go home later today or tomorrow morning.

Pre op.  Sedation makes the bed controls fun!

Post op.

Post op.

Day 4.

Couldn't be doing this without my wonderful family and friends!  You know who you are!  I really appreciate the visits, gifts, calls/emails, meals, and for transporting the boys to their Little League practices and games!  I love you all!!