Summertime

Its been just over 4 months since we first met our daughter in China.  Its unbelieveable how far she has come.  She is settling in as a member of our family, laughs alot, speaks pretty darn good English, is increasingly confident around new people, and is eagerly experiencing so many new things!  I would describe her as a generally happy girl, despite her sadness at leaving her friends behind and her determination to return to China when she grows up (at least she knows she is staying with us for the duration of her childhood!).

We returned to her surgeon last week to get the final "OK" on her palate repair.  She will continue to follow up with him every six months to make sure that the muscles under the flap are starting to move.  She started speech therapy last week as well, which will be a key component in getting those muscles moving.  Her palate is pretty tight and if she struggles with her speech despite therapy, there is a small possibilty that she would need another procedure to stretch that graft.  Otherwise, her next surgery will be a bone graft to her dental rim which will be taken from her hip at around age 12.  She cannot have any surgery to her nose until she is full grown.  She is otherwise very healthy.

We finished off the school year with her spending 2 1/2 hours each day in the 2nd grade classroom.  She spent part of that time with the ESL (English as a 2nd language) teacher and the rest of that time in small groups.  She was not doing alot of active participation as far as academic work, but she was making definite progress as far as her confidence level with the teachers and kids.  She is fairly determined to not make new friends out of loyalty to her friends in China, but she was smiling, talking, and even hugging some of the teachers by the end of the year.  We are planning to keep her in that same 2nd grade class this fall and are hoping to start her full time as well.  If she isn't ready for a full day in Sept, I'm sure she will be within a couple of months.  My mom has been a lifesaver in helping out with Wu Yi while Don and I are at work.  We started a summer tutoring program for her to try and help her do some catching up.  She does this for about and hour and a half, three days a week.  She is bright and curious about so many things.  She can be stubborn at times about "formal" education, but she will get there.

I am continually amazed how confident she can be!  Despite being basically "abandoned" two times in her fairly recent memory by trusted adults (foster family and orphanage), she has faith in me.  I can leave her to go to work or to go out for a run or even to be gone overnight (when I am on call at the hospital) and she is ok with it.  I show her on her Cinderella watch when I will be home, and tell her specifically who will be with her and what she will be doing.  If I am late coming home, she gets mad at me, so I have learned to give myself some extra time when I point to her watch.

For the first three months of her life in America, sitting in front of the TV was her comfort place.  She watched alot of TV in China and I think it was her "escape" when she was stressed here.  She still loves Barbie and Princess cartoons (and learned alot of new language from them!), but she is starting to show us a whole new outdoor and adventurous side of her personality!  She loves to ride her bike and her scooter.  She loves to hike (and she wants to be in the front ~ leading the way!), she loves to fish (and she can tell a good fish tale about catching the biggest monster in the lake), and she loves to camp.  All of the things we love to do!  We have been on two camping trips and she enjoys everything about them, except the porta potties.  (What is up with that??  Does she not remember squatty potties???)

She has many things on her "wish list" that she asks me to buy her.  Kittens, bunnies, a pink Barbie guitar, a Barbie sing along DVD and microphone, a battery operated stuffed dog that goes for a walk, a fancy swing set for the backyard, ballet lessons, gymnastic lessons, a trip to Disneyland, etc, etc.  Some things I say "yes" to.  Some things I say "maybe when you are bigger" to.  Some things I say "no" to.  We talk about money alot and now, when she sees a fancy swing set, she says to the kids playing on it "You have lots of money!".

And, now for the biggest update . . . Wu Yi and Don are making progress!!  She is no longer afraid of him.  She no longer tenses up when he comes in the house.  She is still mildly uncomfortable around him, but, he takes her hiking and he takes her fishing and he takes her to shoot targets with the coin operated rifles at Cabelas!  In other words, he is a pretty fun guy!  She tells me he is a hairy monkey because of the hair on his arms (actually all men in this country are monkeys), but she is starting to acknowledge him when he talks to her and will actually choose going with him over going with me if he is doing something more fun.  What a huge relief!  I think by the end of the summer, she is going to love him!  :)

Three steps forward. One Step back.

I spend most of my time admiring my daughter with absolute astonishment at her progress, determination, and spirit.  She is affectionate, funny, smart, helpful, and competitive and, although this process has not been easy, I am actually surprised that it hasn't been nearly as hard as I expected.
On rare occasion, she can be stubborn and difficult.  She can stomp her little foot and say "no", although she is usually agreeable to compromise and quickly turns a negative attitiude right back around.  When we had the "name discussion" two nights ago, I was a bit fearful of the potential consequences of changing a name so quickly, and last night my concerns became reality.
I was out with her in our neighborhood ~ she on her bike and me following on foot close behind (well, not so close ~ she is becoming a speedy daredevil on that little pink Barbie machine) and, as usual, we ended up at one of her favorite teachers' house.  When this teacher came out to visit with us, I told her about Wu Yi wanting to be called by her new American name, and the teacher told Wu Yi that she had certainly picked a very beautiful one.  Wu Yi got angry and said she didn't want to be called by that name.  She continued on in a fairly angry rant about how people in America are different than people in China.  We are hairy like monkeys, women with long fingernails are like wicked witches, our food is horrible, and we burp and fart way too much.  She announced to me that when she grows up, she will return to China, and that it would be better if I went and found a daughter with yellow hair and blue eyes who will want to stay in America with me!
Wow!

Whats in a name?

In many ways, Wu Yi is thrilled at being a part of her new American family.  In others, she is firmly loyal to her Chinese heritage.  When Don and I initially referred to ourselves as "Mama" and "Baba", she refused to call us anything.  When we referred to the boys as "her brothers", she angrily shook her head no.  Eventually, she addressed the boys by their first names, and, more recently, she directly addresses Don and I as "Daddy" and "Mommy".  It is a nice change to be called by a name and not just grunted at or called by the nickname "come here".  I don't know exactly where she heard the words "Mommy" and "Daddy".  Our boys don't call us that.  Regardless, we both love to hear those precious titles.
Upon her arrival in the US, Wu Yi already knew how to write her name in both English letters and in Chinese characters.  When she started school, she noticed that her name was being written along with our last name.  She was curious about this "3rd name" and asked what it meant.  I told her that everyone in our family of 6 shared the same last name, and that was how we knew we fit together.  I went down the list of our names (leaving the potentially confusing middle names out) and she was delighted to be a part of our common connection.  She was especially proud to announce that she was the only one who had 3 names!  I hated to burst her bubble by explaining our middle names and let her bask in her personal name glory.
Tonight, during her bath, we were once again talking about her best friend Yu Cheong, who is still in China.  Yu Cheong will be joining her new American family in just a few months and I have been in contact with her adoptive mom on-line. (Long story how we got together, but I am so glad we did!)  I was explaining to Wu Yi that her best friend was getting the new name "Eva".  When Wu Yi heard the name, she gave me a disgusted look and asked "why?".  I told her that sometimes kids get a new American name when they get adopted and that Yu Cheong would be keeping her Chinese name for her middle name and then getting a new family name as well.  Wu Yi pondered this concept for several minutes, got suddenly wide-eyed, and then exclaimed "SHE WILL HAVE 4 NAMES?!!!"  Well, not to be outdone, Wu Yi announced that she wanted a new American name too, so that she would have just as many names as her friend.
Well, I was pretty taken by surprise at this sudden announcement.  Before we went to China, Don and I had discussed American names.  We had a list of about 10 names that we thought Wu Yi might like to choose from.  As it turned out, she had no interest in a new name, and "Wu Yi W." was officially put on her birth certificate.  We knew that she might decide to have an American names in the future, and figured we could change it to whatever she wanted at that time.  As she expectantly sat in the bath and waited for me to assign her a "4th name", I tried to remember what was on that list.  (Funny that I put so much thought into that list just a few short months ago, and tonight I struggled to remember a single name on it!)  I mentioned the names "Sophie", "Megan", "Maura", "Maylee" (not American but it means "beautiful" in Chinese and Don and I both loved it), "Claire", "Quinn" and "Olivia".  She looked disgusted at each of them, with the exception of Olivia.  She started laughing at that one and told me to say it again.  When I did, she laughed again and said "that one is funny".  When I tried to think of the other 3 names on the list, she shook her head and said "Olivia".  I said to her "you want to be called by a name that you think is funny?".  She eagerly nodded and said "Yes. Olivia Wu Yi W."  Then, she decided she wanted to add "Min Yu Ping" (her legal Chinese name) to the list and have 7 names total.  I am hesistant to start calling her Olivia (I actually hate the thought of letting go of Wu Yi right now), but I guess it won't hurt to try it for awhile.  What if we get into the habit of a new name, and she decides to change it again?  (Wouldn't be so unlikely for a strong willed 8 year old!)  I guess we'll give it a try and keep you posted!