Piecing together a past

Tonite, Wu Yi told me a bedtime story.  Its late and I'm tired and wounded by the story, but I don't want to forget any details, so I'm writing it down as best I can remember now.

Once upon a time, a daughter was born in China.  Initially her "Mommy" rocked her and loved her.  But one day, the daughter's Mommy put the baby girl down in the street and ran away.  She was a "naughty Mommy" for doing that.

A "Grandma" and "Grandpa" happened upon the baby girl in the street and together they exclaimed "Who is this?  Who is this?".  They took the daughter home with them and were very kind to her.  They lived in a tiny home, with a small dog and two small cats.  One of the cats was "very beautiful" and slept next to the daughter every night.  The daughter misses the beautiful cat so much, even to this day.

Eventually, when the daughter was bigger, she came to live at a new home.  This home was very large and very cold inside and, in addition to many "Mamas" and one special "PoPo", the daughter had four new friends there that became her brothers and sisters.  One brother was unable to hear or speak.  One brother was unable to walk.  One sister had feet that were backwards (but she could still run quickly and rarely fell down).  One sister was a baby and needed heart surgery.  The daughter held the baby's hand while she was learning to walk.  One day the baby stopped holding her hand and started walking all by herself!  The daughter was very proud!

Her favorite sister and best friend was Yu Cheeong.  They slept in the same bed together, feet to feet.  It was fun to share a bed.  They also walked to school together each day with one of the "Mamas".  It was a long walk to school and the daughter got tired very easily.  That "Mama" was not patient with her and the daughter was frequently spanked, slapped across the face, and had her ear twisted by the woman.  Despite her best friends club feet, she managed to walk to school fine and was rarely punished in this way.  Once at school, the two friends shared a desk and school supplies and they loved each other very much.

Most of the "Mama's" were very kind.  They put the daughters hair up in ribbons each day, fed her, let her watch TV, and played with her.  They had to cut her hair on occasion and she always hated that.  She thought she looked ugly with short hair.  She also thought she had a very ugly nose.

The story ends there.  I asked if the daughter got a new Mama and Baba and came to America.  She shook her head "no".  She looked fairly confused about what happens to the daughter next.  All she could say, is that when the daughter gets bigger, she is going to finally get her nose fixed.

My Little Lady

Today Wu Yi and I had some serious mother/daughter time.  She was checking out my closet while I was in the shower, and when I came out, I saw she had lined up all of my high heels and was beaming at them and saying "beautiful".  She wanted me to try them all on for her, and the taller they made me, the more she liked them.  We moved on to my dresses and she especially loved my wedding dress.  She didn't want to try them on herself but she loved admiring me. I asked her if she wanted to try on jewelry or paint her nails but she was very dismissive of these ideas.  She has steadily refused to put anything in her hair, wear a dress, or do anything else that may call undue attention to herself.  I hope she overcomes this, as she absolutely loves to admire her beloved princesses and their crowns, dresses, and shoes.

We later went to a clothing store, as I had to look for something pink to wear to a party for a good friend who is battling breast cancer (love you Laura!).  Wu Yi knew what my mission was and she confidently scoured the store, pulling pink items off the rack and holding them up to me.  She would either nod her approval or wrinkle her nose in disapproval.  I didn't find anything good for me, but we moved on to the little girls section and she quickly found a pink dress for herself.  This would be the second frillly pink dress she has picked out ~ unfortunately, the first one still sits untouched in the closet.  I told her I would only buy her dress #2 if she promised to wear it to school.  She thought about it for awhile and then told me she would keep her end of the deal.  She picked out a "Cinderella" tiara as well, and actually modeled it for Evan. (She is quite proud of this treasure!).

This afternoon, she posed with Evan and me for some pictures!  This is the first time, in three months, that she hasn't been irritated by the camera.  Word for the day : "Beautiful".

Finding her Voice

Its been two weeks since Wu Yi came home from the hospital and she has been doing amazingly well.  She continues to eat like crazy, has gained back her weight, and got the "all clear" from her Dr to eat whatever she wants.  The only thing she struggles with is figuring out how to suck through a straw, which is completely backwards from what you would expect with a cleft palate repair!  We met with a speech therapist, and will take her in for her initial evaluation later this month.

She has returned to school and is going everyday with my friend Cheryl for two hours.  She spends the last 45 minutes of this time in a regular 2nd grade classroom.  It has been amazing to watch her gain confidence at school.  For a long time, she would ignore the kids and teachers, and only look at the floor while she was in the building.  Now, she is starting to cautiously look at the kids and the classroom and she is giving an occasional smile to familiar adults.  She has been studying Evan's yearbook carefully and I think this gives her a better feel for the school hierarchy.  She has some understanding of telling time and watching the clock for when she will be picked up, and that gives her more confidence too.  We also decided to hold her back and keep her in this same 2nd grade class in the fall, as well as have a tutor work with her at home this summer.

She started speaking some English in the past two weeks ~ mostly repeating short words and phrases from her favorite Barbie cartoons.  She has been most confident doing this in front of my mom, who babysits Wu Yi while I am at work.  (I went back 1/2 time two weeks ago, and go back full time next week).  Yesterday and today, however, she began speaking conversational English!!  And its not just random words, its complete sentences!  Today she said to me in the car "Grandma's house is that way", "Lets have lunch with Grandma at the park with the big slide", and "Mrs Jensen's little boy got hit and broke his teeth" (that from a story she heard about a teachers son having a baseball accident).  Other new phrases today include "follow me", "catch me",  "push me" (on the swing), "Sami, get your leash", and "let's skip".  What an absolutely delightful girl who continues to laugh and laugh when we play at the park.

She has also been more open and trusting in sharing her photos and treasured China backpack.  She "tells" me (through gestures and miming) about her friends, nannies, and teachers in China.  She considered her closest friends at the orphanage to be her brothers and sisters, and called many nannies "mama".  Because she was in a special needs orphanage, she described to me the various ailments of her friends.  It is heartbreaking to me that she seems to feel defined by her cleft issues.  She asks me regularly when will the Dr fix her nose (she can't have reconstructive surgery until her teens).  People made fun of her nose, and despite having just gone through a very difficult surgery, she is eager to do it again.  It makes me so angry that an 8 year old has been made to feel this way.  She has not given me any clue as to why she avoids having a relationship with Don, but she did point out a picture of a female teacher she had who hit her hands with a ruler and twisted her ear in school.

Along with all of these milestones, she has also become very physically affectionate with me.  She usually likes to act as though she hates to get a hug, but more and more she finds a way to throw herself in my arms, hold my hand, ask for a piggyback ride, or even not pull away when I give her a raspberry kiss on her neck.  I am so proud of all she has overcome.  Summer vacation starts in 4 weeks and Don will be home with her while I am at work.  Lets hope the two of them will find a way into each others hearts.  :)