Wow! 6 months since my last post. I was thinking it was time to give up my career as an author (not sure if anybody out there is still reading???), but I go back and read those early posts from China and they make ME smile, so I continue on . . .
Actually, I check in occasionally with my chat friends on the Yahoo Guizhou group, and there are some new parents who are heading to China soon to meet there new kiddos. I share this blog address to tell of our experiences, and hope it is helpful in some way. Can't wait to follow their journeys as well!
Wu Yi has been talking more and more about her life in China. Although she has been with us for a year and a half, she brings China into conversation most days. She no longer wishes to go back, but she does miss her foster mom "Tai Tai" as well as many of the kids she grew up with. Tai Tai took care of Wu Yi from the time of her abandonment (15 months old) until she was placed on the adoption list and taken to the orphanage at age 6. She shyly refers to Tai Tai as her real mom. She doesn't want to hurt my feelings by saying that, but of course she feels that way! Tai Tai is the only mom she remembers, even though she has always known of the existence of a birth mother.
Tai Tai and her husband had many foster kids in their home, despite being very poor. They lived in a small home with only one bedroom, an outhouse, and a leaky roof. The kids slept on couches, chairs, or the floor. Wu Yi was lucky to sleep in a bed (even though she got wet when it rained). She was a favorite of Tai Tai's and accompanied her to the market for food or on other various errands. Wu Yi's foster dad was "lazy and just watched TV and smoked with his friends", but he was otherwise kind and tolerant of the kids. Tai Tai told Wu Yi of the "bad birth mom who put her down and walked away" and she also gave Wu Yi her nickname (which is now her legal name). Her legal name in China was Yu Ping. It seems that neither Tai Tai nor Wu Yi were prepared for Wu Yi to go live in the orphanage. A car came one day and picked her up (and some of her foster sisters as well), and drove her away hysterically crying. Life in her new home was very strict and initially difficult, but in time she adjusted. She saw Tai Tai on occasion, but there was never any explanation made to Wu Yi as to why she couldn't be with her anymore. The nannies at the orphanage eventually started to tell Wu Yi about "new parents" and "going to America", but Wu Yi never really understood what it meant and of course it was a huge shock when we got there. Tai Tai went to the orphanage to pick Wu Yi up and take her to a "fancy mall" the night before our arrival, so she must have known what was happening. She didn't have any money to buy anything at the mall and there was no discussion about the events which were to happen the next day. It feels awkward to explain my perspective of her live in China. I feel like I shouldn't know "secrets" of her life that she didn't know herself. She has an incredible memory and I feel priveleged to have earned her trust and to hear her story.
I send photos of Wu Yi to the orphanage via email every few months. They seem to appreciate seeing them, and I hope they share them with Tai Tai if they see her. We don't know how to contact Tai Tai directly except for a phone number that Wu Yi has that MIGHT be hers. Unfortunately, Wu Yi lost her ability to communicate in Chinese within about 6 months of her arrival here (shocking fact, I know!). I am considering having a Chinese speaking friend attempt to call the number and translate a conversation. Wu Yi is very concerned about Tai Tai's health and needs assurance that she is ok. I will keep you all posted!
Wu Yi does keep in touch with her BFF/Chinese sister Eva, who now lives in New Hampshire. The girls Skype and talk on the phone, and Eva's mom and I are hoping to reunite the girls for a visit soon!
Wu Yi continues to grow and thrive in every way! She is in 3rd grade and keeping up in the classroom fairly independently. Last year, as a 2nd grader, the primary goal was to integrate her socially into the school environment and further develop her language skills. She did those things wonderfully and this year we are focusing more on helping her catch up academically. She is reading at about first grade level and is able to do 3rd grade work, just at a much slower pace than most of the other kids. She is lacking in very basic number skills so math is definitely a challenge. She is able to solve 3rd grade math problems (like double digit addition and subtraction) but she really has little understanding of what she is doing and has to meticulously count on her fingers or draw little "tally marks" on the edges of her paper to solve the problem. We are working to find ways for her to go back to learning basic number skills, while at the same time having her complete the assigned schoolwork. I took for granted having three boys who thought homework was a breeze and needed little help in elementary school! Helping Wu Yi with daily homework can be time consuming, so its fortunate that she is very determined and works hard!
Socially she is also blossoming! She has many friends and goes to playdates and slumber parties. She also started taking gymnastics and loves nothing better than putting on her leotard twice a week and going to the gym! She joined the "Walters" running club and ran cross country this fall, and she has passed levels 1 and 2 in swimming lessons.
In preparation for her next surgery (probably next summer) she had to get braces on her teeth. Two of her brothers had braces, so she wasn't very concerned about it and she has done just fine. Her top teeth were very crooked and its nice to see them moving right into place.
People still ask me how she is doing with Don . . . she absolutely ADORES her daddy! She feels really bad for the way she avoided him in those early months. Don has had lots of health issues this year, and she is always the first one to ask him how he is feeling, and delights in bringing him meals on a tray or handing his crutches to him. She was so modest about seeing his bare (hairy) arms at first, and now she hangs onto his back when they are swimming in deep water together, climbs into bed with him to read stories, and playfully rubs her hands through his beard. Those tiny details say so much!
