Random Photos

Dress-up playdate with Avery

Easter eggs.

Sidewalk art.

At school with Kaija and Grace.

Singing a duet with Grace in the school talents show!

Kayaking with Kellen at Priest Lake.

The Walters kids at the fair.

Learning to ride a bike.

Hello Again!

Wow!  6 months since my last post.  I was thinking it was time to give up my career as an author (not sure if anybody out there is still reading???), but I go back and read those early posts from China and they make ME smile, so I continue on . . .

Actually, I check in occasionally with my chat friends on the Yahoo Guizhou group, and there are some new parents who are heading to China soon to meet there new kiddos.  I share this blog address to tell of our experiences, and hope it is helpful in some way.  Can't wait to follow their journeys as well!

Wu Yi has been talking more and more about her life in China.  Although she has been with us for a year and a half, she brings China into conversation most days.  She no longer wishes to go back, but she does miss her foster mom "Tai Tai" as well as many of the kids she grew up with.  Tai Tai took care of Wu Yi from the time of her abandonment (15 months old) until she was placed on the adoption list and taken to the orphanage at age 6.  She shyly refers to Tai Tai as her real mom.  She doesn't want to hurt my feelings by saying that, but of course she feels that way!  Tai Tai is the only mom she remembers, even though she has always known of the existence of a birth mother.

Tai Tai and her husband had many foster kids in their home, despite being very poor.  They lived in a small home with only one bedroom, an outhouse, and a leaky roof.  The kids slept on couches, chairs, or the floor.  Wu Yi was lucky to sleep in a bed (even though she got wet when it rained).  She was a favorite of Tai Tai's and accompanied her to the market for food or on other various errands.  Wu Yi's foster dad was "lazy and just watched TV and smoked with his friends", but he was otherwise kind and tolerant of the kids.  Tai Tai told Wu Yi of the "bad birth mom who put her down and walked away" and she also gave Wu Yi her nickname (which is now her legal name).  Her legal name in China was Yu Ping.  It seems that neither Tai Tai nor Wu Yi were prepared for Wu Yi to go live in the orphanage.  A car came one day and picked her up (and some of her foster sisters as well), and drove her away hysterically crying.  Life in her new home was very strict and initially difficult, but in time she adjusted.  She saw Tai Tai on occasion, but there was never any explanation made to Wu Yi as to why she couldn't be with her anymore.  The nannies at the orphanage eventually started to tell Wu Yi about "new parents" and "going to America", but Wu Yi never really understood what it meant and of course it was a huge shock when we got there.  Tai Tai went to the orphanage to pick Wu Yi up and take her to a "fancy mall" the night before our arrival, so she must have known what was happening.  She didn't have any money to buy anything at the mall and there was no discussion about the events which were to happen the next day.  It feels awkward to explain my perspective of her live in China.  I feel like I shouldn't know "secrets" of her life that she didn't know herself.  She has an incredible memory and I feel priveleged to have earned her trust and to hear her story.

I send photos of Wu Yi to the orphanage via email every few months.  They seem to appreciate seeing them, and I hope they share them with Tai Tai if they see her.  We don't know how to contact Tai Tai directly except for a phone number that Wu Yi has that MIGHT be hers.  Unfortunately, Wu Yi lost her ability to communicate in Chinese within about 6 months of her arrival here (shocking fact, I know!).  I am considering having a Chinese speaking friend attempt to call the number and translate a conversation.  Wu Yi is very concerned about Tai Tai's health and needs assurance that she is ok.  I will keep you all posted!

Wu Yi does keep in touch with her BFF/Chinese sister Eva, who now lives in New Hampshire.  The girls Skype and talk on the phone, and Eva's mom and I are hoping to reunite the girls for a visit soon!

Wu Yi continues to grow and thrive in every way!  She is in 3rd grade and keeping up in the classroom fairly independently.  Last year, as a 2nd grader, the primary goal was to integrate her socially into the school environment and further develop her language skills.  She did those things wonderfully and this year we are focusing more on helping her catch up academically.  She is reading at about first grade level and is able to do 3rd grade work, just at a much slower pace than most of the other kids.  She is lacking in very basic number skills so math is definitely a challenge.  She is able to solve 3rd grade math problems (like double digit addition and subtraction) but she really has little understanding of what she is doing and has to meticulously count on her fingers or draw little "tally marks" on the edges of her paper to solve the problem.  We are working to find ways for her to go back to learning basic number skills, while at the same time having her complete the assigned schoolwork.  I took for granted having three boys who thought homework was a breeze and needed little help in elementary school!  Helping Wu Yi with daily homework can be time consuming, so its fortunate that she is very determined and works hard!

Socially she is also blossoming!  She has many friends and goes to playdates and slumber parties.  She also started taking gymnastics and loves nothing better than putting on her leotard twice a week and going to the gym!  She joined the "Walters" running club and ran cross country this fall, and she has passed levels 1 and 2 in swimming lessons.

In preparation for her next surgery (probably next summer) she had to get braces on her teeth.  Two of her brothers had braces, so she wasn't very concerned about it and she has done just fine.  Her top teeth were very crooked and its nice to see them moving right into place.

People still ask me how she is doing with Don . . . she absolutely ADORES her daddy! She feels really bad for the way she avoided him in those early months.  Don has had lots of health issues this year, and she is always the first one to ask him how he is feeling, and delights in bringing him meals on a tray or handing his crutches to him.  She was so modest about seeing his bare (hairy) arms at first, and now she hangs onto his back when they are swimming in deep water together, climbs into bed with him to read stories, and playfully rubs her hands through his beard.  Those tiny details say so much!

Happy 9th Birthday!

Its been over a year since Wu Yi came home with us!  She turned 8 shortly after her arrival, and she was miserable on that day.  She hated having everyone's attention.  She wouldn't blow out her candles, eat her cake, or open her presents.  She had her head down dejectedly, hiding behind her bangs, looking like she wanted to crawl under a log and disappear.  She spoke no English then.  She tells me now (she is embarrassed to recall her behavior) that she had a stomachache that day.

She was very excited for her birthday this year!  She had a "princess themed" party at the local roller skating rink and invited all 8 girls from her class.  5 of them were able to join us and they had a blast! 

We were on Spring Break the week she turned 9, and we traveled to Seattle to visit family and friends.  First we had a mini-reunion with our fellow China travelers, the McCains and the Chens. In China, we were a peaceful group of 9.  At the reunion, with all of the siblings, we numbered 17!  It was pizza, chaos, and lots of catching up and reminiscing.  Little Ella Grace and Jesse are both doing so well!  Wu Yi was a little bit uncomfortable with it all.  I haven't seen that side of her for quite awhile.  She seemed irritated by the slide show of our trip to China and wanted only my attention and mostly ignored the other kids.  I'm sure she was tired from the long drive.  We left with her in tears, which is very rare these days.  Anyway, our friends were happy to finally see her talking and full of life!

We also spent a couple of day with our friends the Hawks.  Wu Yi and their daughter Elizabeth bonded last summer and they wasted no time in rekindling their friendship.  Lark and Stephanie are two of our very best friends and it is so fun to see our daughters together!

We spent a day with my birth mom "Mema" at her house in Everett.  She has another granddaughter close to Wu Yi's age and they spent the day together happily climbing the tree in Mema's backyard.  The boys also got to meet their Uncle Nate (my half brother) who shares Daniel's love of fishing and Kellen's love of snowboarding.  It was a great day!  Wu Yi came to America with a negative attitude towards her birth mom.  She said she was "naughty" for abandoning her.  As an adoptee myself, I think its never a good thing for kids to think their birth parents are bad people or that they did a bad thing.  Even if you don't know anything about their circumstances (and Wu Yi will never really know hers), it can only make a child feel badly about themself if they think they came from bad beginnings.  Giving me up for adoption was the hardest thing Mema ever did.  I told Wu Yi my birth story and when Wu Yi met Mema (and she loved Mema from the very first day they were together!), I think it helped her realize that adoption is, often, the ultimate act of love.

After Mema's, we headed for Bellingham to visit our friends, the Taylors.  The boys did some spring skiing at Mt Baker, while Sue and I caught up on life, and Wu Yi played with the siamese cats.  The Taylor girls are teenagers and it didn't take Wu Yi long to notice their sizeable collection of Barbie toys.  Stephanie and Amy weren't interested in their Barbies anymore and they offered Wu Yi whatever she wanted (that was the ultimate gift!)  I'm surprised we made it home without having to strap the new Barbie house on top of our car.  :)

We also spent a day at the Seattle zoo (our favorites were the playful interactive gorillas, and the grizzly who was swimming around trying to catch fish ~ we had a close-up, underwater view!), and we returned to the Great Wolf Lodge for a day of swimming and MagiQuest.

The last day of spring break we spent at Schweitzer Mtn.  It had rained early that day, so the slopes were empty when we arrived for a clear sunny afternoon.  Wu Yi is still loving her skis, and mostly loves to go on the trails in the trees!  The end to another ski season . . .

She received a special gift in the mail from her "sister" Eva, who lives in New Hampshire.  It was a homemade beaded bracelet with the letters "B-F-F".  Eva is now speaking pretty good English (she has been in America for about 6 months) and the girls happily Skyped for a couple of hours the previous weekend.  I am determined to figure out a way for these two to get together in person someday soon!  They endured alot together in China and have continued to face a great deal as they learn to adapt to new familes, new cultures, new schools, and medical procedures.

Speaking of that . . .

Wu Yi graduated from speech therapy at the outpatient rehab clinic!!  After her 2nd surgery, last October, she was able to start mastering some of the sounds which were impossible for her to pronounce before ~ the "explosive" sounds like K D G T.  She is now able to make these sounds and just needs to practice everyday.  She is a perfectionist and works very hard on this.  Her biggest problem is that she LOVES to talk.  She has so much to say and she has to talk very quickly sometimes, just to get it all out!  In order to properly pronunciate, she has to slow down.  She is starting to read, and this is when we hear her best speech.  She will continue with speech therapy at school, twice a week for 20 minutes each, but it is a relief to no longer have to take her out of school for her long weekly rehab session. Its also a relief to her that people aren't asking her to repeat herself so often.  Thanks so much to Nicole for helping her through the last 9 months!!

And continuing on . . .

Wu Yi visits the orthodontist in June to get her Xrays and moldings done for braces.  She needs to have her teeth in proper position for her next surgery, which will happen in a little over a year.  This next surgery is to give her a pretty smile with all of her own teeth.  With cleft palate, the upper part of the mouth has a strip of open tissue and bone, from the back of the throat, all the way forward past the front teeth.  Her palate repair surgery, done  a year ago, closed the roof of her mouth with a tissue graft from the sides of her mouth.  The inside of her mouth now looks pretty normal.  However, under her gums in the front, there is a section with no bone.  This means that no tooth can come down in this spot.  This means that, without surgery, she will be missing a tooth right in the front of her mouth.  The surgery to correct this is pretty amazing.  Through a tiny incision in the front of her hip, a small piece of bone will be removed and transferred to that spot in her mouth.  Once it heals, one of her grown up teeth that is still hidden up in her gums, will come down through that piece of bone! She will likely need orthodontic treatment for quite awhile to help guide all of her teeth into the proper position.  With cleft palate, the teeth on the affected side can be pretty messed up.  Sometimes there are extra teeth, sometimes there are missing teeth, sometimes there are odd little fragments of teeth.  Wu Yi has a very pretty smile right now, with only one tooth in that area which is completely sideways and one missing from the "boneless" spot.  (Not so unusual looking at this age!)  Both Evan and Daniel have had braces, so she is not very concerned about any of it.

8th birthday.  How far she's come!

Confidence

A weekend dance class was advertised in the local elementary schools.  Girls, grades K-5, were invited to attend the 4 hour class which was produced by the high school dance team.  The deal was, you paid $20, showed up for some instruction, had some pizza, got a sparkly sequined skirt, and then performed the dance you had just learned.  In front of an audience.  At halftime of the high school boys basketball game!!!!!

My daughter wanted to do that!

She was awesome!

Party of Six!

This photo was taken by our social worker, Donna Euler, from Idaho Youth Ranch, during our final home vist.  Donna supported us through both of our adoptions and we will miss her!

"10 Skis and a Board"

Schweitzer Mountain, Idaho.  Wu Yi, Don, Jolene, Evan, Daniel, and Kellen.

A first Christmas ~ getting presents

Wu Yi always enjoys helping in the kitchen and Christmas cookies were a big hit!  As we cleaned up, she told me how lucky I am to have a dishwasher.  (Clothes driers and a pantry so full of food are also very nice to have!)

Stockings were hard to explain, but she enjoyed the candy, hair ribbons, and art supplies.

Of course, Barbies are a big hit!

Wu Yi and Grams with her new American Girl doll and wearing her favorite new Hello Kitty shirt!

She loves to eat American food now and she was thrilled at the big dinner I made.  She felt very special to get a turkey drumstick (and she ate the whole thing!)

Wu Yi in her favorite dress in front of Grandma and Grandpa Daly's Christmas village.

Despite my previous post about explaining Santa to Wu Yi, she later decided that believing was a fun thing to do and soon she was planning a visit to the mall to sit on his lap, was making a list for him, was planning the snack to set our for him on Christmas Eve, and was talking about being a really good girl so as not to disappoint him.  (Not hard ~ she is already pretty darn good almost all of the time!)  As I went along with her in her "Santa preparations", she would occasionally give me a hesitant look and say "but he's not real?".  I would just shrug my shoulders and continue on with our Santa activities and she would happily slip back into the "believer mode" and really enjoyed all of the above mentioned tasks.

On Christmas morning, as per tradition, the stockings were opened first.  She seemed a bit hesitant about how to react to all of the goodies inside.  (You have to remember, she has never received any gifts in bulk before.  She was mortified by her birthday ~ she had only been here a couple of weeks then.  And, when she arrived initially from China, I didn't have many toys out in her room.  I kept them mostly hidden away so she wasn't overwhelmed, and just gradually brought things out without making a big deal of it.)  Fortunately, the boys set a good example for her ~ emptying stockings, acting appropriately grateful, saying thank-you's and then moving on to the wrapped gifts. 

As she held her first wrapped present, we all waited and watched.  She didn't open it right away.  She looked unsure, and then finally, quietly asked me "do I break it?".  When I told her I wasn't sure what she meant, she slipped a finger gently under a corner of the wrap and said again "do I break it?" Well, that just about melted my heart that she wasn't sure if it was ok to rip the paper to see what was inside.  My sweet 8 1/2 year old daughter had to ask me how to open a gift!  As the boys proceeded to rip the paper off their gifts in a wild frenzy, she quickly joined in the action and was soon a pro! 

Most all of her Christmas gifts came straight from her Santa list.  They included:  Barbies/dolls/clothes/accessories, roller skates, an IPod shuffle (just for music), a curling iron for her hair, a snow globe, DVD's (Barbie, Pooh, Shrek), art tablets and fancy pens/pencils, books (the Pinkalicious series and Amelia Bedilia), a wristwatch, and an alarm clock.  Wu Yi loves to listen to music, both in the car and in the house.  She also likes to sing and has a microphone hooked up to Don's guitar amp so that she can sing really loud to her favorite stuff.  She LOVES Justin Beiber.  Also Selena Gomez (Justin's girlfriend in case you don't keep up, duh), Adele, Pink, and Black Eyed Peas.  She also likes the Barbie soundtracks and songs from Disney cartoons.

As soon as she was done opening her presents, she immediately packed them all up in her arms and took them to her room.  I explained to her that we usually keep toys in the living room for a couple of days so everyone can just hang out and play together.  Her response was "but they're MINE"!  Understandable, I know.  She came to America with almost no possessions, and now she is a bit of a packrat.  The good thing is that she is not so possessive that she can't share.  In fact, she is usually pretty generous.  As with all things, if she has trouble sharing, I can just remind her how she might like to play with something that belongs to someone else, and she is quick to comply.  She tries very hard to please me and also just to be good in general.  She really thrives on praise.  I don't think she got enough praise or attention in China, but I do think she was raised to make good decisions and to work hard.  As always, I am eternally grateful to all of the people who make up her "first family".