Friday, April 29, 2011
Home from the Hospital
After a brief, nightmarish, 16 hours at home on day five (pain, vomiting, starvation, constipation), we were readmitted to the hospital on day six. Wu Yi had lost 5 of her precious 43 pounds and could barely stand or keep her head up. We agressively rehydrated her with an IV, switched from narcotic pain control to IV anti-inflammatory pain control, gave her anti-nausea meds, and a laxative suppository (which produced 4 tearful hours sitting on the toilet). The second hospital was closer to home, quieter, and we had a private room. My good friend Lisa works there and visited us everyday. We were much more comfortable there. In the first hospital we were in a "curtain cubicle". In the second one, I had a garden view and spent my time watching a bird outside the window building a nest.
By day seven, she had perked up and I returned to trying to feed her like a baby bird ~ a couple of sips of 7up or a tiny bite of jello or ice cream every 15 minutes. Initially she was tearful and resistant to these efforts, but she soon realized that I would quit standing in front of her Barbie cartoons faster if she would just do it! :) Later that evening, she saw a KFC commercial and got very excited, pointing at it. This was her first indication of hunger, and on day eight she finally figured out how to chew and swallow!!! There was no stopping her after that, and we kept a constant supply of food on the bed next to her for the next two days. When her stomach proved that she could handle it, we got the OK to go home!! As we were finally leaving the hospital (and out into yet another late snowstorm!), she asked me to take one more detour to the cafeteria so she could eat just a little more. :)
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Surgery
The trip to the hospital went very smoothly. Maybe too smoothly. Wu Yi seemed almost eager to go to the hospital. My mind raced with a bit of panic, wondering what she thought this surgery meant?
The anesthesiologist decided she could go to sleep with a mask and get the IV after she went to sleep. Despite the fact that Wu Yi was very calm, we opted to give her a sedative before going to the OR, so that she wouldn't remember leaving me. She has been very clingy to me this week and I promised her that I would stay with her through the whole thing. (Even though I am an anesthetist, the hospital policy says no parents in the OR).
Surgery took just over 2 hours and the surgeon was very pleased with the outcome. In his office he had told us to expect 2 days in the hospital, but after the surgery, he said to expect 3 days. As I walked to see her in the recovery room, I could hear her crying and screaming "Mama, Mama"! I haven't heard her call me Mama in over 5 weeks! When she finally saw me, she practically jumped off the bed into my arms and clung to me with all her might. Poor baby with a very swollen face and bloody nose and mouth. She had a stitch through her tongue which was connected to a big wad of gauze which hung outside of her mouth. She howled with pain and fear, but the hospital staff was very attentive with lots of extra pain medicine and she soon settled down. She clung to me the rest of the afternoon and we slept together in her hospital bed all that night. Its sadly twisted that traumatic events can create such bonding.
The next day, Wu Yi started signaling to me that we had been in the hospital 2 days and that it was time to go home. I want so badly for her to trust what I say, and it was frustrating that I had to tell her we couldn't go home until she started to eat. She was completely unwilling to try any food despite the fact that she said she was starving. She threw herself into a major tantrum ~ kicking, screaming, arching her back. This was the first time I had seen a tantrum, but was not at all surprised by it. It lasted for about an hour and a half. We had our nurse, the nursing supervisor, the child life specialist, a social worker, and a translator all running to our room to try to calm her down. Unfortunately, all of these strangers just made her more upset and I sent them away. Did I mention that we weren't in a private room? We had a sweet little 4 year old in the bed next to us who had a cleft palate revision on the same day as Wu Yi. Her mom and I got to be best buddies during our 4 days together. A second tantrum followed a few hours later and it was decided that Wu Yi needed to be sedated so that she wouldn't damage her mouth with the screaming. The Ativan knocked her out for the rest of the day.
Day 3 brought 4 more tantrums, although they were less fierce and lasted only a half hour each. She still refused to eat or drink. Thank God she slept well all night.
Day 4 was "I'm sick of being here too and you are gonna start eating no matter what" day. :) Our little roommate got to go home and I didn't pack enough underwear and I was becoming tearful myself, so I found the resolve to be more firm with Wu Yi. Our nurse was willing to help me (brave nurse ~ I think we scared off a few!) and we ganged up on her to take sips of 7up and bites of ice cream. The effort exhausted me but we made a little progress at last.
So, here we are at Day 5. With lots of encouragement, Wu Yi is taking a full ounce (Yes, I said ounce!) of her favorite spicy Chinese broth every hour. She is switching over from IV Morphine, to liquid oral pain meds this morning as well. Yucky! If we can get her to take 2 ounces every hour and continue to get her to take her pain meds, she can go home later today or tomorrow morning.
Pre op. Sedation makes the bed controls fun!
Post op.
Post op.
Day 4.
Couldn't be doing this without my wonderful family and friends! You know who you are! I really appreciate the visits, gifts, calls/emails, meals, and for transporting the boys to their Little League practices and games! I love you all!!
The anesthesiologist decided she could go to sleep with a mask and get the IV after she went to sleep. Despite the fact that Wu Yi was very calm, we opted to give her a sedative before going to the OR, so that she wouldn't remember leaving me. She has been very clingy to me this week and I promised her that I would stay with her through the whole thing. (Even though I am an anesthetist, the hospital policy says no parents in the OR).
Surgery took just over 2 hours and the surgeon was very pleased with the outcome. In his office he had told us to expect 2 days in the hospital, but after the surgery, he said to expect 3 days. As I walked to see her in the recovery room, I could hear her crying and screaming "Mama, Mama"! I haven't heard her call me Mama in over 5 weeks! When she finally saw me, she practically jumped off the bed into my arms and clung to me with all her might. Poor baby with a very swollen face and bloody nose and mouth. She had a stitch through her tongue which was connected to a big wad of gauze which hung outside of her mouth. She howled with pain and fear, but the hospital staff was very attentive with lots of extra pain medicine and she soon settled down. She clung to me the rest of the afternoon and we slept together in her hospital bed all that night. Its sadly twisted that traumatic events can create such bonding.
The next day, Wu Yi started signaling to me that we had been in the hospital 2 days and that it was time to go home. I want so badly for her to trust what I say, and it was frustrating that I had to tell her we couldn't go home until she started to eat. She was completely unwilling to try any food despite the fact that she said she was starving. She threw herself into a major tantrum ~ kicking, screaming, arching her back. This was the first time I had seen a tantrum, but was not at all surprised by it. It lasted for about an hour and a half. We had our nurse, the nursing supervisor, the child life specialist, a social worker, and a translator all running to our room to try to calm her down. Unfortunately, all of these strangers just made her more upset and I sent them away. Did I mention that we weren't in a private room? We had a sweet little 4 year old in the bed next to us who had a cleft palate revision on the same day as Wu Yi. Her mom and I got to be best buddies during our 4 days together. A second tantrum followed a few hours later and it was decided that Wu Yi needed to be sedated so that she wouldn't damage her mouth with the screaming. The Ativan knocked her out for the rest of the day.
Day 3 brought 4 more tantrums, although they were less fierce and lasted only a half hour each. She still refused to eat or drink. Thank God she slept well all night.
Day 4 was "I'm sick of being here too and you are gonna start eating no matter what" day. :) Our little roommate got to go home and I didn't pack enough underwear and I was becoming tearful myself, so I found the resolve to be more firm with Wu Yi. Our nurse was willing to help me (brave nurse ~ I think we scared off a few!) and we ganged up on her to take sips of 7up and bites of ice cream. The effort exhausted me but we made a little progress at last.
So, here we are at Day 5. With lots of encouragement, Wu Yi is taking a full ounce (Yes, I said ounce!) of her favorite spicy Chinese broth every hour. She is switching over from IV Morphine, to liquid oral pain meds this morning as well. Yucky! If we can get her to take 2 ounces every hour and continue to get her to take her pain meds, she can go home later today or tomorrow morning.
Pre op. Sedation makes the bed controls fun!
Post op.
Post op. 
Day 4.Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Easter (early)
Today Wu Yi is having her surgery. I have to wake her up in a few minutes to encourage her to drink clear liquids and then she can't have anything more to eat or drink. Her surgery time is around noon. She "talked" to me about it quite a bit yesterday. She knows that she will be having her mouth "fixed" and that we will be at the hospital for a few days and that she will hurt and have to take "yucky" medicine ~ yet despite all that, her only concern is that I will stay with her. She also asked if the Dr was going to fix her nose. I told her he wouldn't be doing that until she was more grown up. She was disappointed. She told me people in China made fun of her nose.
She is starting to write me notes in Pinion! (Chinese in English letters). She is very excited that she can communicate with me this way. Unfortunately, she is limited by her 6 months of education. When she gets stuck she draws Chinese characters, which I am unable to read.
Don is completely excluded from all this progress she is making. Its starting to take its toll on him.
She is starting to write me notes in Pinion! (Chinese in English letters). She is very excited that she can communicate with me this way. Unfortunately, she is limited by her 6 months of education. When she gets stuck she draws Chinese characters, which I am unable to read.
Don is completely excluded from all this progress she is making. Its starting to take its toll on him.
Monday, April 18, 2011
English and more tears
Wu Yi is starting to speak English!! For the past three days, she has been saying "hey" instead of grunting to get our attention. Today, "hey" became "hey look". So cute! (No other words come out of her mouth).
Today we got together with a translator for the first time to explain the upcoming surgery to Wu Yi. No surprise ~ she refused to speak and barely acknowledged the conversation. I could tell she was listening though. She didn't respond to the discussion of going to the hospital, although I could see she was concerned talking about pain and needing to take medicine that might not taste very good. After giving her all the pertinent details, the translator decided to make some more casual conversation and asked Wu Yi if she enjoyed going to school in China. Wu Yi nodded that she did. When asked if she had good friends there, Wu Yi nodded and started to sob. I held her for a half hour while she cried. The translator apologized for bringing up a sensitive topic, but I told her that I wasn't sorry that she did ~ its good for Wu Yi to think about her friends and to be able to grieve in my arms. I'm sure her friends weren't the only reason she was crying anyway.
Surgery on Wednesday.
Today we got together with a translator for the first time to explain the upcoming surgery to Wu Yi. No surprise ~ she refused to speak and barely acknowledged the conversation. I could tell she was listening though. She didn't respond to the discussion of going to the hospital, although I could see she was concerned talking about pain and needing to take medicine that might not taste very good. After giving her all the pertinent details, the translator decided to make some more casual conversation and asked Wu Yi if she enjoyed going to school in China. Wu Yi nodded that she did. When asked if she had good friends there, Wu Yi nodded and started to sob. I held her for a half hour while she cried. The translator apologized for bringing up a sensitive topic, but I told her that I wasn't sorry that she did ~ its good for Wu Yi to think about her friends and to be able to grieve in my arms. I'm sure her friends weren't the only reason she was crying anyway.
Surgery on Wednesday.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Tears :(
Part of my job requires traveling across the state to a weekend meeting every spring. That meeting is happening now and this morning I had to explain to Wu Yi that I was leaving for work and would be home tomorrow night. Communicating with her about day-to-day stuff has become pretty easy, but every once in awhile, I have to turn to "google translate" to learn to explain something new. I had arranged for my mom to come stay with her at the house ~ she has babysat for us before and it has always gone fine. Today, however, Wu Yi broke down and started crying when I explained the situation to her. She was so upset, that I worried she wasn't understanding what I was saying. I know that going away overnight is new to her, but I still thought she would be ok with my mom. I called a friend who speaks Chinese and had her re-explain what I needed Wu Yi to know over the phone. Wu Yi listened and continued to cry. I debated taking her with me (very expensive last minute plane ticket vs 11 hours round trip in the car ~ ugh). I have been through seeing my boys cry when I had to leave them (many years ago ~ they don't bat an eyelash now) and it is never easy, but my boys always knew that I would come back. So sad that Wu Yi has no reason to trust me. Sure, I've been a pretty good mom for the past 8 weeks, but her history tells her that adults lie and adults leave. I sat and rocked her for a half hour (have to say I enjoyed that part) and sucked it up and headed for the airport. Called my mom when I landed in Seattle and they are doing just fine. That little girl has my heart wrapped around her little finger. I didn't expect to love her so quickly. I'm a lucky mom.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Enrolled!
Well, the second time was a charm! This morning, I told Wu Yi we were going back to school and she nodded her head "ok". To sweeten the deal, I told her we would go to the "Happy Cat Room" at the local animal shelter to pet and play with the cats afterward. She was very excited about this! We arrived at the school and she walked confidently in, met Cheryl, took her hand, and headed to class! She remained with Cheryl the entire hour and was content the entire time! She participated in the "alphabet sounds" activity (she can identify almost all of her capital and lower case letters ~ although she won't try to say them) and she wrote her name in English letters (I taught her that) and in Chinese characters as well. She returned to me triumphant and "told" me she was ready to pet some cats. :) (I won't go into details about the moment I realized that the shelter is actually closed on Thursdays ~ my bad . . . . OK, to spare my reputation, I will tell you that I worked hard to track down some baby bunnies to pet instead.)
Oh, and she gave me a spontaneous hug today!!!!!
Oh, and she gave me a spontaneous hug today!!!!!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Surgery and School
We saw Wu Yi's surgeon again this week. She had a hearing test (she even cooperated for it!) and her ears are completely fine. She has recovered from her first little cold, and she has been approved for surgery next Wednesday. I am planning to spend some time the day before with a translator to try and tell her what she needs to know and to also offer her an opportunity to ask questions. We haven't had anyone try to speak Chinese to her for several weeks (well, unless you count my daily attempts) and I'm not sure whether she will be comfortable with it or not. She still is not speaking and continues to ignore strangers. The hospital will also be providing us with a Mandarin translator during our 2-3 day stay there. I am a little nervous ~ mostly about how she will do taking medicine (antibiotics twice a day, and pain medicine), and I am hoping she doesn't think that having surgery means she gets to return to China afterwards (one of the lies told to her to get her to stop crying in China). I know she must still be homesick but, honestly, I think she is starting to like it here. I know she enjoys spending time with me and lately, she has been wanting to spend time with my mom as well. It is so wonderful that Wu Yi loves my mom (AND of course her little Pomeranian dog!) because when I go back to work next month, mom will be helping take care of her. I think my mom reminds Wu Yi of her favorite nanny that she called "Po Po" ("grandma"). Mom is recently retired and I think she is enjoying Wu Yi too.
What about school??? This is such a tough issue for us. Wu Yi was in school in China this year and I had hoped she would want to continue that "normalcy" when she got here. We spent a few hours in the 2nd grade classroom a few weeks ago, and she was so overwhelmed that we didn't go back. I had hoped she would be interested in the kids, but she really couldn't handle the sheer numbers of them. I told myself she would be ok waiting until the fall, and just tried to spend a little time each day doing some alphabet games and number dot-to-dots. But then I started to panic, thinking I wouldn't have time off of work in the fall to help her transition. She has been getting more comfortable playing around kids at the park and she is very comfortable with me. Maybe she could be ready for a couple hours of school? I still couldn't figure out how to take her to school without overwhelming her and suffering some kind of major setback in her progress.
Enter into the picture my very good friend, Cheryl . . . Cheryl teaches at our school in small group settings with kids that benefit from more individualized attention. She also happens to be one of the few adults that Wu Yi has become comfortable with. Cheryl had the idea that Wu Yi should skip the regular classroom, and just spend time with her small groups. I think it could work! The administrators at the school are also ok with it. So, today I took Wu Yi to school! I was a little nervous, as I had decided that I wasn't going to stay in the classroom with her ~ it is too easy for Wu Yi to "drag my sleeve" when she is bored or uncomfortable. We were going to try it for an hour and I was just going to sit in Evan's classroom in case of emergency :). Wu Yi was a little hesitant going into the school, but as soon as she saw Cheryl, she happily held her hand and off they went! I sat in Evan's classroom and counted the minutes, hoping that she was doing well. After the hour was almost up, Evan and his class left to go to Art, which was right next door to Cheryl's class. I stayed behind to not be seen. Evan, however, (sweet brother that he is) decided to poke his head in to visit Wu Yi. Wu Yi had been doing just fine, but when she saw Evan, she decided she wanted to leave and go with him. Cheryl gently tried to get her to stay, and Wu Yi broke down and started crying. This is a pretty major deal, because Wu Yi has not shed a single tear since we left China almost 6 weeks ago! (And even then, she only cried on the phone to the nannies ~ never to me or Don). Evan immediately came to get me, and I arrived to find Wu Yi crying into Cheryl's shoulder. The kids in the group (bless those little guys) were quietly working and trying not to stare. I picked her up, took her to a quiet corner, and held her while she continued to quietly cry. I hate to say that I'm glad she finally broke down, but how can an 8 year old hold that in for so long??? It broke my heart to see it, but it felt so good to hold her and rock her and just have her in my arms! She has been so resistant to physical affection. It took over a month for her to be comfortable with me putting my arm loosely around her when we read at bedtime. If I get a hug, it is only for half a moment when she wants to jump off of playground equipment and have me catch her. Getting to squeeze her tight for 10 minutes was a big deal. We left the school and headed off to the park with mom, and within an hour, she was running and laughing and playing again. I'm not entirely sure if it is the right thing to do (but I have decided that I am the one who knows best, so there!), but we are going to try it all again tomorrow. Wish us luck . . .
What about school??? This is such a tough issue for us. Wu Yi was in school in China this year and I had hoped she would want to continue that "normalcy" when she got here. We spent a few hours in the 2nd grade classroom a few weeks ago, and she was so overwhelmed that we didn't go back. I had hoped she would be interested in the kids, but she really couldn't handle the sheer numbers of them. I told myself she would be ok waiting until the fall, and just tried to spend a little time each day doing some alphabet games and number dot-to-dots. But then I started to panic, thinking I wouldn't have time off of work in the fall to help her transition. She has been getting more comfortable playing around kids at the park and she is very comfortable with me. Maybe she could be ready for a couple hours of school? I still couldn't figure out how to take her to school without overwhelming her and suffering some kind of major setback in her progress.
Enter into the picture my very good friend, Cheryl . . . Cheryl teaches at our school in small group settings with kids that benefit from more individualized attention. She also happens to be one of the few adults that Wu Yi has become comfortable with. Cheryl had the idea that Wu Yi should skip the regular classroom, and just spend time with her small groups. I think it could work! The administrators at the school are also ok with it. So, today I took Wu Yi to school! I was a little nervous, as I had decided that I wasn't going to stay in the classroom with her ~ it is too easy for Wu Yi to "drag my sleeve" when she is bored or uncomfortable. We were going to try it for an hour and I was just going to sit in Evan's classroom in case of emergency :). Wu Yi was a little hesitant going into the school, but as soon as she saw Cheryl, she happily held her hand and off they went! I sat in Evan's classroom and counted the minutes, hoping that she was doing well. After the hour was almost up, Evan and his class left to go to Art, which was right next door to Cheryl's class. I stayed behind to not be seen. Evan, however, (sweet brother that he is) decided to poke his head in to visit Wu Yi. Wu Yi had been doing just fine, but when she saw Evan, she decided she wanted to leave and go with him. Cheryl gently tried to get her to stay, and Wu Yi broke down and started crying. This is a pretty major deal, because Wu Yi has not shed a single tear since we left China almost 6 weeks ago! (And even then, she only cried on the phone to the nannies ~ never to me or Don). Evan immediately came to get me, and I arrived to find Wu Yi crying into Cheryl's shoulder. The kids in the group (bless those little guys) were quietly working and trying not to stare. I picked her up, took her to a quiet corner, and held her while she continued to quietly cry. I hate to say that I'm glad she finally broke down, but how can an 8 year old hold that in for so long??? It broke my heart to see it, but it felt so good to hold her and rock her and just have her in my arms! She has been so resistant to physical affection. It took over a month for her to be comfortable with me putting my arm loosely around her when we read at bedtime. If I get a hug, it is only for half a moment when she wants to jump off of playground equipment and have me catch her. Getting to squeeze her tight for 10 minutes was a big deal. We left the school and headed off to the park with mom, and within an hour, she was running and laughing and playing again. I'm not entirely sure if it is the right thing to do (but I have decided that I am the one who knows best, so there!), but we are going to try it all again tomorrow. Wish us luck . . .
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Water Girl!
She asked me to buy her some snazzy pink goggles first!
Kellen and Wu Yi on her favorite "tandem" slide.
Daniel catching Wu Yi when she goes solo.
Evan and Wu Yi ~ so cute together!
Rare photo op!
Needless to say, we stayed and swam another two hours!
Road Trip
Happy 8th Birthday Wu Yi!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)