English and more tears

Wu Yi is starting to speak English!!  For the past three days, she has been saying "hey" instead of grunting to get our attention.  Today, "hey" became "hey look".  So cute!  (No other words come out of her mouth).

Today we got together with a translator for the first time to explain the upcoming surgery to Wu Yi.  No surprise ~ she refused to speak and barely acknowledged the conversation.  I could tell she was listening though.  She didn't respond to the discussion of going to the hospital, although I could see she was concerned talking about pain and needing to take medicine that might not taste very good.  After giving her all the pertinent details, the translator decided to make some more casual conversation and asked Wu Yi if she enjoyed going to school in China.  Wu Yi nodded that she did.  When asked if she had good friends there, Wu Yi nodded and started to sob.  I held her for a half hour while she cried.  The translator apologized for bringing up a sensitive topic, but I told her that I wasn't sorry that she did ~ its good for Wu Yi to think about her friends and to be able to grieve in my arms.  I'm sure her friends weren't the only reason she was crying anyway.

Surgery on Wednesday.

Tears :(

Part of my job requires traveling across the state to a weekend meeting every spring.  That meeting is happening now and this morning I had to explain to Wu Yi that I was leaving for work and would be home tomorrow night.  Communicating with her about day-to-day stuff has become pretty easy, but every once in awhile, I have to turn to "google translate" to learn to explain something new.  I had arranged for my mom to come stay with her at the house ~ she has babysat for us before and it has always gone fine.  Today, however, Wu Yi broke down and started crying when I explained the situation to her.  She was so upset, that I worried she wasn't understanding what I was saying.  I know that going away overnight is new to her, but I still thought she would be ok with my mom.  I called a friend who speaks Chinese and had her re-explain what I needed Wu Yi to know over the phone.  Wu Yi listened and continued to cry.  I debated taking her with me (very expensive last minute plane ticket vs 11 hours round trip in the car ~ ugh).  I have been through seeing my boys cry when I had to leave them (many years ago ~ they don't bat an eyelash now) and it is never easy, but my boys always knew that I would come back.  So sad that Wu Yi has no reason to trust me.  Sure, I've been a pretty good mom for the past 8 weeks, but her history tells her that adults lie and adults leave.  I sat and rocked her for a half hour (have to say I enjoyed that part) and sucked it up and headed for the airport.  Called my mom when I landed in Seattle and they are doing just fine.  That little girl has my heart wrapped around her little finger.  I didn't expect to love her so quickly.  I'm a lucky mom.

Enrolled!

Well, the second time was a charm!  This morning, I told Wu Yi we were going back to school and she nodded her head "ok".  To sweeten the deal, I told her we would go to the "Happy Cat Room" at the local animal shelter to pet and play with the cats afterward.  She was very excited about this!  We arrived at the school and she walked confidently in, met Cheryl, took her hand, and headed to class!  She remained with Cheryl the entire hour and was content the entire time!  She participated in the "alphabet sounds" activity (she can identify almost all of her capital and lower case letters ~ although she won't try to say them) and she wrote her name in English letters (I taught her that) and in Chinese characters as well.  She returned to me triumphant and "told" me she was ready to pet some cats.  :)  (I won't go into details about the moment  I realized that the shelter is actually closed on Thursdays ~ my bad . . . . OK, to spare my reputation, I will tell you that I worked hard to track down some baby bunnies to pet instead.)

Oh, and she gave me a spontaneous hug today!!!!!

Surgery and School

We saw Wu Yi's surgeon again this week.  She had a hearing test (she even cooperated for it!) and her ears are completely fine.  She has recovered from her first little cold, and she has been approved for surgery next Wednesday.  I am planning to spend some time the day before with a translator to try and tell her what she needs to know and to also offer her an opportunity to ask questions.  We haven't had anyone try to speak Chinese to her for several weeks (well, unless you count my daily attempts) and I'm not sure whether she will be comfortable with it or not.  She still is not speaking and continues to ignore strangers.  The hospital will also be providing us with a Mandarin translator during our 2-3 day stay there.  I am a little nervous ~ mostly about how she will do taking medicine (antibiotics twice a day, and pain medicine), and I am hoping she doesn't think that having surgery means she gets to return to China afterwards (one of the lies told to her to get her to stop crying in China).  I know she must still be homesick but, honestly, I think she is starting to like it here.  I know she enjoys spending time with me and lately, she has been wanting to spend time with my mom as well.  It is so wonderful that Wu Yi loves my mom (AND of course her little Pomeranian dog!) because when I go back to work next month, mom will be helping take care of her.  I think my mom reminds Wu Yi of her favorite nanny that she called "Po Po" ("grandma").  Mom is recently retired and I think she is enjoying Wu Yi too.

What about school??? This is such a tough issue for us.  Wu Yi was in school in China this year and I had hoped she would want to continue that "normalcy" when she got here.  We spent a few hours in the 2nd grade classroom a few weeks ago, and she was so overwhelmed that we didn't go back.  I had hoped she would be interested in the kids, but she really couldn't handle the sheer numbers of them.  I told myself she would be ok waiting until the fall, and just tried to spend a little time each day doing some alphabet games and number dot-to-dots.  But then I started to panic, thinking I wouldn't have time off of work in the fall to help her transition.  She has been getting more comfortable playing around kids at the park and she is very comfortable with me. Maybe she could be ready for a couple hours of school?  I still couldn't figure out how to take her to school without overwhelming her and suffering some kind of major setback in her progress.

Enter into the picture my very good friend, Cheryl . . .  Cheryl teaches at our school in small group settings with kids that benefit from more individualized attention.  She also happens to be one of the few adults that Wu Yi has become comfortable with.  Cheryl had the idea that Wu Yi should skip the regular classroom, and just spend time with her small groups. I think it could work! The administrators at the school are also ok with it.  So, today I took Wu Yi to school!  I was a little nervous, as I had decided that I wasn't going to stay in the classroom with her ~ it is too easy for Wu Yi to "drag my sleeve" when she is bored or uncomfortable.  We were going to try it for an hour and I was just going to sit in Evan's classroom in case of emergency :).  Wu Yi was a little hesitant going into the school, but as soon as she saw Cheryl, she happily held her hand and off they went!  I sat in Evan's classroom and counted the minutes, hoping that she was doing well.  After the hour was almost up, Evan and his class left to go to Art, which was right next door to Cheryl's class. I stayed behind to not be seen.  Evan, however, (sweet brother that he is) decided to poke his head in to visit Wu Yi.  Wu Yi had been doing just fine, but when she saw Evan, she decided she wanted to leave and go with him.  Cheryl gently tried to get her to stay, and Wu Yi broke down and started crying.  This is a pretty major deal, because Wu Yi has not shed a single tear since we left China almost 6 weeks ago!  (And even then, she only cried on the phone to the nannies ~ never to me or Don).  Evan immediately came to get me, and I arrived to find Wu Yi crying into Cheryl's shoulder.  The kids in the group (bless those little guys) were quietly working and trying not to stare.  I picked her up, took her to a quiet corner, and held her while she continued to quietly cry.  I hate to say that I'm glad she finally broke down, but how can an 8 year old hold that in for so long???  It broke my heart to see it, but it felt so good to hold her and rock her and just have her in my arms!  She has been so resistant to physical affection.  It took over a month for her to be comfortable with me putting my arm loosely around her when we read at bedtime.  If I get a hug, it is only for half a moment when she wants to jump off of playground equipment and have me catch her.  Getting to squeeze her tight for 10 minutes was a big deal.  We left the school and headed off to the park with mom, and within an hour, she was running and laughing and playing again.  I'm not entirely sure if it is the right thing to do (but I have decided that I am the one who knows best, so there!), but we are going to try it all again tomorrow.  Wish us luck . . .

Water Girl!

Great Wolf Lodge and Waterpark, Grand Mound, WA.  After watching the boys swim and slide for two full days, just as we were getting ready to go home, she decides to put on a swimsuit and get in for the very first time!

She asked me to buy her some snazzy pink goggles first!

Kellen and Wu Yi on her favorite "tandem" slide.

Daniel catching Wu Yi when she goes solo.

Evan and Wu Yi ~ so cute together!

Rare photo op!

Needless to say, we stayed and swam another two hours!

Road Trip

Crossing Washington state.  Three gaming boys.  One napping girl.  One content pup. One full vehicle!

Happy 8th Birthday Wu Yi!

Unfortunately, she was fairly mortified by the low-key celebration :(   Her brothers didn't mind blowing out her candles for her or even opening her gifts for her. Deep down, I know she is secretly dying to play with all her new Barbies ~ If only there was a way to do it without anyone knowing!  Next year will be better sweet girl!