Adjusting to home

We have been home for 3 days now and I am happy to be sleeping in my own bed.  Unfortunately, I am waking up many times at night trying to figure out where I am.  I can't recall the last time I was away from home for so long, plus China was overwhelming, we are still adjusting to being a "family of 6", and its weird to not be going to work. (Yes, I miss you guys!)
I haven't posted to the blog for several days, mostly because I have no photos to share.  Wu Yi really doesn't like me taking them, and I just don't want to line up three smiling boys and an unhappy girl.  Maybe next week?
Although it is difficult to see Wu Yi so unhappy, she is making some progress.  She seems to be becoming more and more comfortable in our house.  She no longer waits to ask to use the bathroom or to get out of bed ~ she now takes the initiative to just do it on her own.  She doesn't fuss over clothes changing at all (just wants the door closed).  She continues to sleep great all night by herself in her own room, and when she is awake, she parks herself on one corner of the couch and watches cartoons.  She only moves from that spot for meals or to go to the bathroom.  If the TV is off, she sits quietly studying her hands.  The boys and I have tried to engage her in various play activities and she either shakes her head "no" when asked to join in, or just ignores the request.  Most of the day, I have just left toys laying around in case she takes the initiative on her own.  "Pushing" her doesn't seem to be the answer, but it is hard to watch her sit an entire day doing nothing.  Its also very hard for me to just sit with her.  I am feeling so unproductive, even though I know being near her is "something".  After several months of a hiatus, I have started going for short runs again this week.  Thank goodness for that!
We have taken her out for various errands and she is perfectly fine "tagging along".  Although we mostly want her at home for awhile, it doesn't seem to bother her at all to get in the car.  She had her first Dr's appt today and was very cooperative through it all.  She had to get 3 shots and she started to cry when I told her what was going to happen.  She held very still during them and when I hugged her afterward, she actually leaned into me and seemed comforted by me.  We go to the dentist on Friday and to the Cleft Lip and Palate board next week.  Unless something unexpected shows up on these next physical exams, I have decided to wait until this summer to put her through surgery to close her palate.  She has no problems eating, drinking, or even sucking through a straw and I haven't seen anything come back out through her nose. Her initial exam today showed no health problems.
I underestimated the food issue!  Her diet is really very different from ours.  She prefers rice noodles over anything else and lots of spices that are unfamiliar to me.  Thanks so much Penny for bringing over all those Asian groceries for us to sample!  It doesn't help that I hate to cook and am tired of eating Chinese food!  :)
Today Wu Yi made me totally hold my breath and curse to myself when she got into her precious backpack and pulled out her little phone book.  I had hoped if she didn't see a phone in our house (and I've kind of hidden them) that she wouldn't ask to make any calls.  At this point, I really  don't think its a good idea for her to be in contact with the orphanage.  She gets so emotional, I don't know what is being said on the other end of the line (more lies promising future visits?), and I need her to bond with us  a little more and start to understand that this is permanent.  I am going to hate to tell her "no" on this one (at least for awhile) and  I am missing hearing her talk!!  I pretended not to notice while she carefully scanned the pages of numbers, and fortunately, after a few minutes, she tucked it back away.
All in all, its going better than I thought it would.  What I wouldn't give for a smile (ok, I got one when the Dr did the abdominal exam and it tickled her ~ she immediately covered her mouth and tried to suppress it) or for her to want to play.  I know, I know!  It will happen.  Its just very hard to see this sadness in such a precious child.

Back in the USA!

We got up early yesterday to get ready to start the long trip home.  I told Wu Yi that she needed clean clothes and she shook her head no;  I smiled and nodded my head, and she basically shrugged her shoulders and let me do it without a peep!  I wanted to cry with happiness!  I know the clothes/bath thing might not seem like a big deal to anyone reading this, but I hate feeling like I am molesting this child when she needs to be cleaned up!  Bring on the next bath!! :)
Wu Yi must have known something was up the night before with all of the packing.  I waited until that morning to tell her we were leaving on a plane for America (which in Chinese translation means beautiful place).  I was worried what her reaction might be, but she seemed calm and ready to go.  We met up with the Chen's, and at the airport, met two other Seattle area adoptive families who were on the same flight with us.  The long flights were fairly uneventful (except trying to find our luggage in Beijing ~ bless you Johnny!) and I am absolutely amazed at how patient Wu Yi is.  She sat on 3 long flights, waited in airport lines surrounded by 4 families who were speaking only English to each other, and endured a fair amount of walking (carrying her precious heavy backpack) as we wandered from terminal to terminal.  She never seemed upset or frustrated, she just quietly went along with the group.  There were 3 other girls near her age with us, and she continued on her quest to "have no fun".  She did enjoy getting to have her own TV screen on the 12 hour flight with several Chinese cartoons to choose from, and she slept for almost half of the trip.  We had one brief "testing" moment when she refused to keep her seatbelt buckled (the Chinese cab drivers scolded us for trying to buckle her there!), but when Don sternly "shook his finger" at her, she decided to remain buckled the rest of the time.  She really is a well behaved little girl. (And you know how Don is such a tough guy!)
We were treated to family greeting us at the Spokane airport and I broke down and sobbed when I saw my 3 boys all holding up large hand-made banners welcoming us home!  What in the world were their grandmas feeding them for 2 weeks that made them each grow a foot taller!!  I feel so happy to be home!  China was a great life experience and the people were very good to us there, but nothing beats living in this great country and especially the beautiful Pacific NW.

Daniel, Kellen, and Evan were all so eager to meet and play with Wu Yi, and they have spent the evening looking up Chinese phrases to talk to her, and have been very understanding that she isn't quite sure of the situation and not ready to play or talk yet.  They are determined to get her to cheer up ~ go for it boys!  She seems to be doing ok in the house.  I gave her a preliminary tour of the main floor and showed her how to use the toilet/faucets/etc.  Daniel and Kellen want her to check out their rooms downstairs, but we will do that tomorrow.  Our house is big and I don't want her to get confused.  She seems ok with our dog ~ I've just had the boys keep Sami quiet and not too close yet.  At bedtime, she obediently walked to her room and climbed into bed.  She never has any issues at bedtime which is great because she has to be exhausted every single day (both physically and emotionally).  The boys want to "take her out on the town" tomorrow and are disappointed that I think we need to stay put at home for at least a few more days.  (Hard for all of us ~ we are definitely a family on the go!).  I will probably need to catch up on sleep anyway.  In the last 36 hours, I've only slept 30 minutes.  Why am I still up writing??  See ya.

Day 12 ~ Last day in China!

Sorry to not post any new photos of Wu Yi today.  She really doesn't like being photographed so I decided to cut her some slack.  I must say she looked just as cute today as she does everyday.  No smiles yet, but she walked with a little more "spring in her step" than usual. We will take these tiny hints of progress whenever we can get them.  (To Marta and Cheryl ~ I need more coaching on styling little girl hair!  She will only accept barrettes, and they keep falling out!)
Early in our arrival, Don asked our guide Elsie if she could get him into a local school for a tour.  Initially she didn't think it was likely, as even parents don't usually go into schools ~ they wait for their kids outside.  But, she pulled some strings, and this morning Don got to spend almost an hour in a nearby high school.  This school is highly regarded, with 95% of students expected to go on to college.  They wear "sweatsuit-like" uniforms, each age group assigned a different color.  The classes are very crowded (59 students in one class) and students attend class Mon-Fri 7:30-12 and 2:30-5:30.  All school kids get a mid-day break ~ in fact, many working people have a long lunch break as well.  Wu Yi was taking a daily nap during this school break. (She started attending 1st grade last fall).  The teacher who accompanied Don on the tour was amazed that US high school students aren't all lining up to take advantage of AP classes.  Local school kids generally study pretty hard here, and can be expelled for behaviors that are common among American teens.
I spent the morning with the Chen's on Shamian Island for some last minute shopping.  This island is very beautiful with lots of peaceful streets lined with flowers and shade trees.  It was once heavily populated by Europeans, and the architecture is very colonial.  It is in the middle of the city (did I mention Guangzhou has almost 12 million people in the surrounding area?) and it is a popular place for weddings and wedding photos. Today we watched a big tour bus bring in at least 6 wedding parties to have pictures taken. Chinese weddings are elaborate affairs! Shamian also used to be "adoption central" as the US Consulate used to be there, and the Immigration Medical Office is still there and we still saw lots of adoptive families wandering around.  While the Chen's shopped, Wu Yi and I hung out at Starbucks for a latte (me) and an orange sucker (Wu Yi).  My latte cost as much as most of my dinners here have (about $5).  After shopping, we headed for a cute little park with lots of playground equipment.  As soon as Wu Yi saw it, she turned around and pulled my hand to walk away from it!  That girl is really stubborn!  She likes to watch Chinese DVD's in the hotel room, so we went to the store to let her pick out one more video.  She chose what looks like a Chinese version of "Power Rangers".  Hopefully her brothers will like it too!
Lunch was at KFC.  Notice the little eyes on the crab cakes!
We are heading home tomorrow!!!!  We have to check out of the hotel by 6 am to catch an 8:30 flight to Beijing, then we have a 4 hour layover until we board our 12 hour flight to Seattle. In Seattle, we say goodbye to our good friends, Johnny, Angela, and Jesse Chen. Then its a 3 hour wait for our flight to Spokane.  We land (after 26 hours of travel) at 2:55 on Saturday afternoon.  Then a quick 45 minute drive home to Coeur d'Alene!  Excitement and dread at the same time!  :)  Can't wait to see everyone!  We have missed our family and friends!

Day 11 ~ Zoo and a bath

I tossed and turned all night dreading that today needed to be a bath day.  I had put it off for an entire week and it was time.  Wu Yi has only had one bath since she left the orphanage, and that was last week with our guide Wendy (you may recall that I was not allowed in the bathroom).  So this morning, as soon as we got up, I announced the bad news.  She shook her head no and backed away.  I talked to her as cheerfully and soothingly as I could, using both Chinese and English phrases but all she did was shake her head and grab the towel rack with both hands.   I had no choice but to peel her fingers away, undress her, and put her in the tub.  She screamed and cried for her "grandma" ~ the poor girl is just mortified about being undressed.  She wouldn't sit down in the water, but fortunately the bath had a hand held shower, so I just washed her that way.  Too bad it ended up being quick ~ I had hoped that once she sat down she might relax and enjoy it (she seemed to with Wendy).  After we toweled off and got dressed, she furiously glared at me from the bathroom and wouldn't come out for about 10 minutes.  At least she didn't kick or hit me.  (She hasn't ever done anything like that before, but she was pretty mad and I wasn't sure if she would try it).  By breakfast she seemed to have forgiven me. It will be better next time ~ right???
We took the subway to the zoo today.  It was our first time on a Chinese subway, and Don, once again, for the 3rd time, got in trouble for taking pictures.  I'm sure China will celebrate when Don leaves the country! :) The Chen's little boy Jesse has an ear infection, so it was Don and I with the two "new" families.  We were happy to have three 6 year old girls in the group (only one speaking Chinese) for Wu Yi to play with.  The zoo was really nice with lots of cool animals and beautiful flowers and trees.  Wu Yi seemed to be in a better mood and enjoyed feeding some ducks, but she chose to mostly ignore the other girls.  She seems bound and determined to not have any fun, and my guess is that she may associate enjoying herself with "giving up" on her hopes to go back to the orphanage.  I'm no psych major, but that is my theory.
After Jesse got some antibiotics, he was feeling better (he's the cutest 1 year old baby ever!) so we went out for Muslim food with the Chen's.  We watched the cooks making fresh pasta ~ it puts tossing pizza to shame!  Then we spent the evening exploring some streets a few blocks away from the hotel and found some trendy bars and hotspots as well as more street markets with an amazing array of fresh fruit.  We have been cautioned to only eat fruit with a rind on it, so unfortunately we aren't eating much fruit.
Have a safe trip home Shelly, Brad, and Ella Grace!  We will miss you!

Day 10 ~ Lucy's and New Friends

Wu Yi and I slept in until 9 this morning!  She is an awesome sleeper and I stay up too late at night on the computer having my daily "me" time.  Don has been getting up early to put on his running shoes and explore the streets of Guangzhou.  Fortunately he doesn't take his camera on his runs, so I can trust he will stay out of trouble and make it back to the hotel safely.  :)  Then its down to breakfast ~ Wu Yi is no longer shy about letting us know what she wants to eat (from the buffet or pointing to pictures on menus) and its always fun to see what she eats.  She likes quite a variety and she can really eat alot!
We spent the morning taking a taxi back to Shamian Island with the McCains and Chens for one last shopping trip ~ we are so sad to be saying goodbye to the McCains as they leave for home tomorrow.  Don has mastered the fine art of "bargaining with little Chinese women" for souveniers ~ they probably only chuckled a little to the bank this time.  We went to the White Swan Hotel looking for the famous "red couch" that adopted kids all line up for photos on, only to find out that the couch no longer exists.  There are "other" red couches there, but we decided to spare Wu Yi the agony of another photo.  She really doesn't like to be on camera, and today she actually pushed me away from her when I tried to pose for a photo.  Then it was off to lunch at the famous "Lucy's" ~ a restaurant in the park on Shamian that caters to the American families who have had enough Chinese food.  We sat outside and ate spaghetti and burgers ~ beautiful scenery and beautiful weather here!
We spent the afternoon at the Yunsai Gardens and enjoyed displays of colorful flowers ~ Wu Yi still not a big fan of walking around, but an ice cream cone always perks her up. :)
This evening, we went out for Malaysian food (yes, we are eating almost constantly here!) with two other WACAP families that just arrived.  It is such a sense of community here with other adoptive families thoughout our hotel.  One of the families (from Ohio) is adopting a 6 year old and we sat next to them at our table.  We are excited about this because, so far, we haven't met anyone adopting a child near the age of WuYi.  The two girls didn't talk to each other, but Wu Yi definitely noticed that the other girl was speaking Chinese.  She stared at her through much of the meal.  We are going to the zoo with them tomorrow.  I hope Wu Yi has fun.  She seems bored, sad, or angry most of the day.  She did call the orphanage today and cried a bit ~ its been a full 3 days of no crying.  I'm actually glad she had an opportunity to break down and not be so strong.  Such a huge transition for such a small girl.

Missing my boys!

Day 9 ~ Taking the oath

I couldn't change Wu Yi's clothes last night while she slept ~ combination of guilt and waking her up!  So, this morning, first thing, I told her we needed to put on clean clothes and I just did it.  She wasn't pleased and resisted for a bit, but once she knew I wasn't going to take no for an answer, she relented a bit.  I think she is pretty modest (she covered her eyes with her hands when Don was just wearing a towel after showering) and I tried to keep her covered as best I could ~ poor girl.  It is a relief to have it done though!  After getting her dressed I realized I didn't have her shoes ready, but by the time I grabbed them, she had put her red snowboots on!  Its her signature look though and I don't plan on taking them away.  Now its time to tackle the bath.  I will leave that for tomorrow.  One trauma at a time :)
We went to the US Consulate this morning to finalize Wu Yi's passport and to take the oath on her behalf for her US citizenship.  I though this would mean she was to become a citizen today, but it just meant we were getting the citizenship papers.  We will present these papers when we land in Seattle, and as soon as we cross through customs there, she will officially be an American.  Don and I got dressed up for the occasion, but unfortunately, our camera and cell phone were not allowed in.  Don attempted to take a photo of us standing in line and the security guard yelled at him to delete the photo and came over to make sure that he did.  The only photo that was allowed was later in the lobby of the building ~ nowhere near where the ceremony actually took place.  There were quite a number of American adoptive families there with us and pretty much all of the kids were running around and playing with the waiting room toys.  Wu Yi remains stoic and will not engage in any kind of play.  She sat quietly in the chair and mostly looked at her hands.
We went out for a wonderful Vietnamese lunch with our friends, and then split up for the walk back to the hotel ~ WuYi and I to McD's for fries and ice cream (she loves both), and Don to the "Pepsi store" with Brad.  When we met back in our room, we learned that Don had gotten into more trouble with his camera, for stopping in front of a Communist Party building and trying to take photos.  The 6 guards at the gate (complete with bayonets!) didn't appreciate him pointing a camera at them, and one of them quickly approached him and told him to delete all photos.  There may be more to the story if you talk to Don himself ~ the details become more frightening every time he tells them! :)  We later drove by that same building again, and Don slumped down in his seat as far as he could with his camera flashing away through the window of the moving van.  All this for a picture of a Red Star to show the students in his government class.
We spent the afternoon visiting the Chen Ancestral Hall/Guangzhou Fine Arts Museum and the Pearl Market (a popular downtown mall), and spent the evening on a river boat dinner cruise.  The food on the cruise was the first meal I have not enjoyed, but there were alot of American adoptive families on board and the ride was fun.  Guangzhou is a wealthy major seaport for southern China and its modern skyscrapers and bridges are adorned with neon lights that create quite a show at night.  Wu Yi was bored by most of the days activities, but I think she enjoyed being on the boat. 
It was late by the time we returned to the hotel, and all Wu Yi wanted to do was watch the new "Pleasant Goat" DVD we bought for her.  This cartoon seems to be China's most popular for the younger kids and she waited all day to watch it.  She didn't even show any interest in making a phone call today.  I am happy to report that Wu Yi has not cried for 3 full days.  Unfortunately, with no phone calls to the orphanage, we didn't get to hear her say a single word today.  Despite seeming less angry, she is still very quiet and very stubborn about showing interest in any kind of play.  She understands the simple Chinese phrases I say to her and nods yes or no to my questions.  I feel bad that I haven't been able to understand anything she says to me and she gave up trying after the second day.  We have free days to sightsee on our own after tomorrow and we are going to find more kid friendly places.  She likes feeding animals and there is a nice zoo here ~ looking forward to that!  There is also a Washington family that just arrived in our hotel with their new 6 year old daughter and we are meeting them tomorrow night for dinner.  I hope the two girls are interested in each other!  Maybe we can get Wu Yi a little more out of her shell!