Surgery and School

We saw Wu Yi's surgeon again this week.  She had a hearing test (she even cooperated for it!) and her ears are completely fine.  She has recovered from her first little cold, and she has been approved for surgery next Wednesday.  I am planning to spend some time the day before with a translator to try and tell her what she needs to know and to also offer her an opportunity to ask questions.  We haven't had anyone try to speak Chinese to her for several weeks (well, unless you count my daily attempts) and I'm not sure whether she will be comfortable with it or not.  She still is not speaking and continues to ignore strangers.  The hospital will also be providing us with a Mandarin translator during our 2-3 day stay there.  I am a little nervous ~ mostly about how she will do taking medicine (antibiotics twice a day, and pain medicine), and I am hoping she doesn't think that having surgery means she gets to return to China afterwards (one of the lies told to her to get her to stop crying in China).  I know she must still be homesick but, honestly, I think she is starting to like it here.  I know she enjoys spending time with me and lately, she has been wanting to spend time with my mom as well.  It is so wonderful that Wu Yi loves my mom (AND of course her little Pomeranian dog!) because when I go back to work next month, mom will be helping take care of her.  I think my mom reminds Wu Yi of her favorite nanny that she called "Po Po" ("grandma").  Mom is recently retired and I think she is enjoying Wu Yi too.

What about school??? This is such a tough issue for us.  Wu Yi was in school in China this year and I had hoped she would want to continue that "normalcy" when she got here.  We spent a few hours in the 2nd grade classroom a few weeks ago, and she was so overwhelmed that we didn't go back.  I had hoped she would be interested in the kids, but she really couldn't handle the sheer numbers of them.  I told myself she would be ok waiting until the fall, and just tried to spend a little time each day doing some alphabet games and number dot-to-dots.  But then I started to panic, thinking I wouldn't have time off of work in the fall to help her transition.  She has been getting more comfortable playing around kids at the park and she is very comfortable with me. Maybe she could be ready for a couple hours of school?  I still couldn't figure out how to take her to school without overwhelming her and suffering some kind of major setback in her progress.

Enter into the picture my very good friend, Cheryl . . .  Cheryl teaches at our school in small group settings with kids that benefit from more individualized attention.  She also happens to be one of the few adults that Wu Yi has become comfortable with.  Cheryl had the idea that Wu Yi should skip the regular classroom, and just spend time with her small groups. I think it could work! The administrators at the school are also ok with it.  So, today I took Wu Yi to school!  I was a little nervous, as I had decided that I wasn't going to stay in the classroom with her ~ it is too easy for Wu Yi to "drag my sleeve" when she is bored or uncomfortable.  We were going to try it for an hour and I was just going to sit in Evan's classroom in case of emergency :).  Wu Yi was a little hesitant going into the school, but as soon as she saw Cheryl, she happily held her hand and off they went!  I sat in Evan's classroom and counted the minutes, hoping that she was doing well.  After the hour was almost up, Evan and his class left to go to Art, which was right next door to Cheryl's class. I stayed behind to not be seen.  Evan, however, (sweet brother that he is) decided to poke his head in to visit Wu Yi.  Wu Yi had been doing just fine, but when she saw Evan, she decided she wanted to leave and go with him.  Cheryl gently tried to get her to stay, and Wu Yi broke down and started crying.  This is a pretty major deal, because Wu Yi has not shed a single tear since we left China almost 6 weeks ago!  (And even then, she only cried on the phone to the nannies ~ never to me or Don).  Evan immediately came to get me, and I arrived to find Wu Yi crying into Cheryl's shoulder.  The kids in the group (bless those little guys) were quietly working and trying not to stare.  I picked her up, took her to a quiet corner, and held her while she continued to quietly cry.  I hate to say that I'm glad she finally broke down, but how can an 8 year old hold that in for so long???  It broke my heart to see it, but it felt so good to hold her and rock her and just have her in my arms!  She has been so resistant to physical affection.  It took over a month for her to be comfortable with me putting my arm loosely around her when we read at bedtime.  If I get a hug, it is only for half a moment when she wants to jump off of playground equipment and have me catch her.  Getting to squeeze her tight for 10 minutes was a big deal.  We left the school and headed off to the park with mom, and within an hour, she was running and laughing and playing again.  I'm not entirely sure if it is the right thing to do (but I have decided that I am the one who knows best, so there!), but we are going to try it all again tomorrow.  Wish us luck . . .