Happy 9th Birthday!

Its been over a year since Wu Yi came home with us!  She turned 8 shortly after her arrival, and she was miserable on that day.  She hated having everyone's attention.  She wouldn't blow out her candles, eat her cake, or open her presents.  She had her head down dejectedly, hiding behind her bangs, looking like she wanted to crawl under a log and disappear.  She spoke no English then.  She tells me now (she is embarrassed to recall her behavior) that she had a stomachache that day.

She was very excited for her birthday this year!  She had a "princess themed" party at the local roller skating rink and invited all 8 girls from her class.  5 of them were able to join us and they had a blast! 

We were on Spring Break the week she turned 9, and we traveled to Seattle to visit family and friends.  First we had a mini-reunion with our fellow China travelers, the McCains and the Chens. In China, we were a peaceful group of 9.  At the reunion, with all of the siblings, we numbered 17!  It was pizza, chaos, and lots of catching up and reminiscing.  Little Ella Grace and Jesse are both doing so well!  Wu Yi was a little bit uncomfortable with it all.  I haven't seen that side of her for quite awhile.  She seemed irritated by the slide show of our trip to China and wanted only my attention and mostly ignored the other kids.  I'm sure she was tired from the long drive.  We left with her in tears, which is very rare these days.  Anyway, our friends were happy to finally see her talking and full of life!

We also spent a couple of day with our friends the Hawks.  Wu Yi and their daughter Elizabeth bonded last summer and they wasted no time in rekindling their friendship.  Lark and Stephanie are two of our very best friends and it is so fun to see our daughters together!

We spent a day with my birth mom "Mema" at her house in Everett.  She has another granddaughter close to Wu Yi's age and they spent the day together happily climbing the tree in Mema's backyard.  The boys also got to meet their Uncle Nate (my half brother) who shares Daniel's love of fishing and Kellen's love of snowboarding.  It was a great day!  Wu Yi came to America with a negative attitude towards her birth mom.  She said she was "naughty" for abandoning her.  As an adoptee myself, I think its never a good thing for kids to think their birth parents are bad people or that they did a bad thing.  Even if you don't know anything about their circumstances (and Wu Yi will never really know hers), it can only make a child feel badly about themself if they think they came from bad beginnings.  Giving me up for adoption was the hardest thing Mema ever did.  I told Wu Yi my birth story and when Wu Yi met Mema (and she loved Mema from the very first day they were together!), I think it helped her realize that adoption is, often, the ultimate act of love.

After Mema's, we headed for Bellingham to visit our friends, the Taylors.  The boys did some spring skiing at Mt Baker, while Sue and I caught up on life, and Wu Yi played with the siamese cats.  The Taylor girls are teenagers and it didn't take Wu Yi long to notice their sizeable collection of Barbie toys.  Stephanie and Amy weren't interested in their Barbies anymore and they offered Wu Yi whatever she wanted (that was the ultimate gift!)  I'm surprised we made it home without having to strap the new Barbie house on top of our car.  :)

We also spent a day at the Seattle zoo (our favorites were the playful interactive gorillas, and the grizzly who was swimming around trying to catch fish ~ we had a close-up, underwater view!), and we returned to the Great Wolf Lodge for a day of swimming and MagiQuest.

The last day of spring break we spent at Schweitzer Mtn.  It had rained early that day, so the slopes were empty when we arrived for a clear sunny afternoon.  Wu Yi is still loving her skis, and mostly loves to go on the trails in the trees!  The end to another ski season . . .

She received a special gift in the mail from her "sister" Eva, who lives in New Hampshire.  It was a homemade beaded bracelet with the letters "B-F-F".  Eva is now speaking pretty good English (she has been in America for about 6 months) and the girls happily Skyped for a couple of hours the previous weekend.  I am determined to figure out a way for these two to get together in person someday soon!  They endured alot together in China and have continued to face a great deal as they learn to adapt to new familes, new cultures, new schools, and medical procedures.

Speaking of that . . .

Wu Yi graduated from speech therapy at the outpatient rehab clinic!!  After her 2nd surgery, last October, she was able to start mastering some of the sounds which were impossible for her to pronounce before ~ the "explosive" sounds like K D G T.  She is now able to make these sounds and just needs to practice everyday.  She is a perfectionist and works very hard on this.  Her biggest problem is that she LOVES to talk.  She has so much to say and she has to talk very quickly sometimes, just to get it all out!  In order to properly pronunciate, she has to slow down.  She is starting to read, and this is when we hear her best speech.  She will continue with speech therapy at school, twice a week for 20 minutes each, but it is a relief to no longer have to take her out of school for her long weekly rehab session. Its also a relief to her that people aren't asking her to repeat herself so often.  Thanks so much to Nicole for helping her through the last 9 months!!

And continuing on . . .

Wu Yi visits the orthodontist in June to get her Xrays and moldings done for braces.  She needs to have her teeth in proper position for her next surgery, which will happen in a little over a year.  This next surgery is to give her a pretty smile with all of her own teeth.  With cleft palate, the upper part of the mouth has a strip of open tissue and bone, from the back of the throat, all the way forward past the front teeth.  Her palate repair surgery, done  a year ago, closed the roof of her mouth with a tissue graft from the sides of her mouth.  The inside of her mouth now looks pretty normal.  However, under her gums in the front, there is a section with no bone.  This means that no tooth can come down in this spot.  This means that, without surgery, she will be missing a tooth right in the front of her mouth.  The surgery to correct this is pretty amazing.  Through a tiny incision in the front of her hip, a small piece of bone will be removed and transferred to that spot in her mouth.  Once it heals, one of her grown up teeth that is still hidden up in her gums, will come down through that piece of bone! She will likely need orthodontic treatment for quite awhile to help guide all of her teeth into the proper position.  With cleft palate, the teeth on the affected side can be pretty messed up.  Sometimes there are extra teeth, sometimes there are missing teeth, sometimes there are odd little fragments of teeth.  Wu Yi has a very pretty smile right now, with only one tooth in that area which is completely sideways and one missing from the "boneless" spot.  (Not so unusual looking at this age!)  Both Evan and Daniel have had braces, so she is not very concerned about any of it.

8th birthday.  How far she's come!

Confidence

A weekend dance class was advertised in the local elementary schools.  Girls, grades K-5, were invited to attend the 4 hour class which was produced by the high school dance team.  The deal was, you paid $20, showed up for some instruction, had some pizza, got a sparkly sequined skirt, and then performed the dance you had just learned.  In front of an audience.  At halftime of the high school boys basketball game!!!!!

My daughter wanted to do that!

She was awesome!

Party of Six!

This photo was taken by our social worker, Donna Euler, from Idaho Youth Ranch, during our final home vist.  Donna supported us through both of our adoptions and we will miss her!

"10 Skis and a Board"

Schweitzer Mountain, Idaho.  Wu Yi, Don, Jolene, Evan, Daniel, and Kellen.

A first Christmas ~ getting presents

Wu Yi always enjoys helping in the kitchen and Christmas cookies were a big hit!  As we cleaned up, she told me how lucky I am to have a dishwasher.  (Clothes driers and a pantry so full of food are also very nice to have!)

Stockings were hard to explain, but she enjoyed the candy, hair ribbons, and art supplies.

Of course, Barbies are a big hit!

Wu Yi and Grams with her new American Girl doll and wearing her favorite new Hello Kitty shirt!

She loves to eat American food now and she was thrilled at the big dinner I made.  She felt very special to get a turkey drumstick (and she ate the whole thing!)

Wu Yi in her favorite dress in front of Grandma and Grandpa Daly's Christmas village.

Despite my previous post about explaining Santa to Wu Yi, she later decided that believing was a fun thing to do and soon she was planning a visit to the mall to sit on his lap, was making a list for him, was planning the snack to set our for him on Christmas Eve, and was talking about being a really good girl so as not to disappoint him.  (Not hard ~ she is already pretty darn good almost all of the time!)  As I went along with her in her "Santa preparations", she would occasionally give me a hesitant look and say "but he's not real?".  I would just shrug my shoulders and continue on with our Santa activities and she would happily slip back into the "believer mode" and really enjoyed all of the above mentioned tasks.

On Christmas morning, as per tradition, the stockings were opened first.  She seemed a bit hesitant about how to react to all of the goodies inside.  (You have to remember, she has never received any gifts in bulk before.  She was mortified by her birthday ~ she had only been here a couple of weeks then.  And, when she arrived initially from China, I didn't have many toys out in her room.  I kept them mostly hidden away so she wasn't overwhelmed, and just gradually brought things out without making a big deal of it.)  Fortunately, the boys set a good example for her ~ emptying stockings, acting appropriately grateful, saying thank-you's and then moving on to the wrapped gifts. 

As she held her first wrapped present, we all waited and watched.  She didn't open it right away.  She looked unsure, and then finally, quietly asked me "do I break it?".  When I told her I wasn't sure what she meant, she slipped a finger gently under a corner of the wrap and said again "do I break it?" Well, that just about melted my heart that she wasn't sure if it was ok to rip the paper to see what was inside.  My sweet 8 1/2 year old daughter had to ask me how to open a gift!  As the boys proceeded to rip the paper off their gifts in a wild frenzy, she quickly joined in the action and was soon a pro! 

Most all of her Christmas gifts came straight from her Santa list.  They included:  Barbies/dolls/clothes/accessories, roller skates, an IPod shuffle (just for music), a curling iron for her hair, a snow globe, DVD's (Barbie, Pooh, Shrek), art tablets and fancy pens/pencils, books (the Pinkalicious series and Amelia Bedilia), a wristwatch, and an alarm clock.  Wu Yi loves to listen to music, both in the car and in the house.  She also likes to sing and has a microphone hooked up to Don's guitar amp so that she can sing really loud to her favorite stuff.  She LOVES Justin Beiber.  Also Selena Gomez (Justin's girlfriend in case you don't keep up, duh), Adele, Pink, and Black Eyed Peas.  She also likes the Barbie soundtracks and songs from Disney cartoons.

As soon as she was done opening her presents, she immediately packed them all up in her arms and took them to her room.  I explained to her that we usually keep toys in the living room for a couple of days so everyone can just hang out and play together.  Her response was "but they're MINE"!  Understandable, I know.  She came to America with almost no possessions, and now she is a bit of a packrat.  The good thing is that she is not so possessive that she can't share.  In fact, she is usually pretty generous.  As with all things, if she has trouble sharing, I can just remind her how she might like to play with something that belongs to someone else, and she is quick to comply.  She tries very hard to please me and also just to be good in general.  She really thrives on praise.  I don't think she got enough praise or attention in China, but I do think she was raised to make good decisions and to work hard.  As always, I am eternally grateful to all of the people who make up her "first family".

A first Christmas ~ the Santa conversation

I think it was way back in October when WuYi first asked me about Santa Claus.  She had seen images of the jolly elf when she lived in China (so did Don and I ~ he was randomly featured taped up in store windows, sun faded,very out of season, and usually next to Darth Vader or Barack Obama) but she had no idea his purpose or true identity.  I was poorly prepared for the conversation ~ I figured I had at least another month before Santa would enter general conversation ~ but I did my best to wing it.  I explained that Santa was a very nice fellow in a fancy red suit, who once a year visited homes of children and left them presents.  That time of year was Christmas.  She had known a bit about Christmas for several months, as we have a year-round Christmas store in downtown Coeur d'Alene which features trees decorated in every imaginable theme.  Wu Yi loves to go inside and admire the tree decorated in pink with ballet slippers, tutus, and tiaras.  Anyway, before I could explain much more, she interupted me and demanded to know if he was REAL.  Yikes!  After a  moment I knew that I had no choice but to tell her the truth.  I have done my best for almost a year to form a trusting relationship with her and its just not worth risking.  Besides, Santa is supposed to bring presents to all the children of the world, and WuYi was never included in that story.  She enjoyed the Christmas conversation immensely (especially knowing we would decorate a tree, bake cookies, and get presents) and I had to caution her not to tell other kids that Santa wasn't legit.  She was pretty confused about why parents would lie to their kids about such a thing.  The best I could offer her by way of explanation was to say "because its fun".  As she bounced off my bed, satisfied with her understanding of things, I quickly realized that I had a big problem.  My 9 year old son, Evan, is still a believer. (What have I done???!!!)

Ski Season

Kellen on his snowboard

Evan on his skis

Wu Yi's first run on the bunny hill

Evan and Wu Yi taking a break

Daniel giving Wu Yi some pointers

We are definitely a skiing family!  Don has been a ski instructor for over 15 years.  Daniel got his first job this winter as a Jr ski instructor.  All three of the boys were on skis at the age of 3.  I started skiing as an adult. I'm not a bad skier, but not really a good one either.  Don gets the credit for our kids loving the mountain and I love watching them get better each year.  Daniel started outskiing me about 3 years ago.  Kellen and I were evenly matched about that same time, and then he switched to snowboarding.  I'm sure Evan will be hot on my tail this year!

Wu Yi saw the occasional snowfall in China.  It was never more than an inch or two, and it was never meant to play in. 

When she first landed in the US, 9 1/2 months ago, there was alot of snow on the ground.  I don't know if she was excited by it or not.  She was a pretty unhappy girl at the time ~ she had alot of other things on her mind, I'm quite sure.  By the time she started to come out of her shell, the snow had melted for the season.

One thing Wu Yi spends hours doing is looking at our family photo albums.  She pours over every photo and wants to know every story.  She reminds me of things we did years ago that I have a hard time even remembering.  She is learning our history this way and I think she really wants to have every experience that she missed out on. This is how she learned that snow really IS meant for playing in.

Before fall was over, she started talking about playing in snow.  She wanted to make a snowman, a snow angel, ride on a sled, wear new snow boots (she tried to throw her old red ones away ~ AAAGGGHHH!), have a snowball fight, and go skiing.  I took her to the ski swap and bought her some new pink skis.  (This was a first.  Don usually takes care of all the skiing equipment and the boys have never had anything new.  Despite this, she was still rather indignant that she was getting boots that were handed down from Evan ~ they were PURPLE and WHITE.  I mean, poor Evan!)  She was also unhappy to not get ski "sticks" (poles).  Had to explain to her that she had to learn to move without them first.

We headed up to the mountain for Don and Daniel to do some orientation for their jobs.  We really didn't plan to take WuYi out to ski until Don could go with her (he was recovering from surgery and wasn't ready to put skis on).  We took her skis up anyway and as soon as she saw the other skiiers, she was ready to try it!  Schweitzer has whats called a "magic carpet" which is a gentle slope on the top of the bunny hill that has a carpet escalator that takes kids slowly back to the top.  (Much less scary than the chair lift).  Don walked along with her as she skied down the slope and then rode back up.  She was a little nervous and uncomfortable and at the end of the first run she asked to go in the lodge.  Don encouraged her to do "two more runs"  (each run took about 10 minutes).  By the time she finished the 2nd run, she asked Don if she could do "nine more runs"!  He was amazed by how coordinated, strong, and competitive she is. I can't believe we got a daughter that loves to camp and ski as much as we do!  How cool is that!

The next day she wanted to ski the entire bunny hill.  Don was working and I hadn't taken my skis up.  Another friend of ours offered to take her, but Wu Yi really wanted me to go.  (And, of course, I didn't want to miss it!)  I coached her a bit on turning and stopping and then enlisted Evan to take the lead.  The two of them skied while I hiked down behind them in my snow boots.  She got a little nervous on some of the steeper sections and when people skied by her too closely, but she was really determined to do it and only wrecked once or twice.  (They weren't really too bad ~ mostly  "sit downs").  I was nervous about getting on the chair lift with her.  Despite the fact that I consider myself an outgoing and adventurous person, I have a tiny fear of heights.  I'm okay being responsible for myself on the lift, but I freak out a little bit if the person next to me needs any kind of help.  The lift operator was very helpful getting her on, and I protectively put my ski pole across her lap.  She gave me a dirty look and said "why are you doing that?"  (I guess she must have noticed that no other kids' moms were doing that).  Anyway, as soon as we were in the air, she started giggling hysterically and saying "I'm flying!  I'm flying!".  No fear at all!  She skied a few more runs and was tired but very happy by the end of the day.

Thanksgiving

What I'm thankful for!!