Confidence

A weekend dance class was advertised in the local elementary schools.  Girls, grades K-5, were invited to attend the 4 hour class which was produced by the high school dance team.  The deal was, you paid $20, showed up for some instruction, had some pizza, got a sparkly sequined skirt, and then performed the dance you had just learned.  In front of an audience.  At halftime of the high school boys basketball game!!!!!

My daughter wanted to do that!

She was awesome!

Party of Six!

This photo was taken by our social worker, Donna Euler, from Idaho Youth Ranch, during our final home vist.  Donna supported us through both of our adoptions and we will miss her!

"10 Skis and a Board"

Schweitzer Mountain, Idaho.  Wu Yi, Don, Jolene, Evan, Daniel, and Kellen.

A first Christmas ~ getting presents

Wu Yi always enjoys helping in the kitchen and Christmas cookies were a big hit!  As we cleaned up, she told me how lucky I am to have a dishwasher.  (Clothes driers and a pantry so full of food are also very nice to have!)

Stockings were hard to explain, but she enjoyed the candy, hair ribbons, and art supplies.

Of course, Barbies are a big hit!

Wu Yi and Grams with her new American Girl doll and wearing her favorite new Hello Kitty shirt!

She loves to eat American food now and she was thrilled at the big dinner I made.  She felt very special to get a turkey drumstick (and she ate the whole thing!)

Wu Yi in her favorite dress in front of Grandma and Grandpa Daly's Christmas village.

Despite my previous post about explaining Santa to Wu Yi, she later decided that believing was a fun thing to do and soon she was planning a visit to the mall to sit on his lap, was making a list for him, was planning the snack to set our for him on Christmas Eve, and was talking about being a really good girl so as not to disappoint him.  (Not hard ~ she is already pretty darn good almost all of the time!)  As I went along with her in her "Santa preparations", she would occasionally give me a hesitant look and say "but he's not real?".  I would just shrug my shoulders and continue on with our Santa activities and she would happily slip back into the "believer mode" and really enjoyed all of the above mentioned tasks.

On Christmas morning, as per tradition, the stockings were opened first.  She seemed a bit hesitant about how to react to all of the goodies inside.  (You have to remember, she has never received any gifts in bulk before.  She was mortified by her birthday ~ she had only been here a couple of weeks then.  And, when she arrived initially from China, I didn't have many toys out in her room.  I kept them mostly hidden away so she wasn't overwhelmed, and just gradually brought things out without making a big deal of it.)  Fortunately, the boys set a good example for her ~ emptying stockings, acting appropriately grateful, saying thank-you's and then moving on to the wrapped gifts. 

As she held her first wrapped present, we all waited and watched.  She didn't open it right away.  She looked unsure, and then finally, quietly asked me "do I break it?".  When I told her I wasn't sure what she meant, she slipped a finger gently under a corner of the wrap and said again "do I break it?" Well, that just about melted my heart that she wasn't sure if it was ok to rip the paper to see what was inside.  My sweet 8 1/2 year old daughter had to ask me how to open a gift!  As the boys proceeded to rip the paper off their gifts in a wild frenzy, she quickly joined in the action and was soon a pro! 

Most all of her Christmas gifts came straight from her Santa list.  They included:  Barbies/dolls/clothes/accessories, roller skates, an IPod shuffle (just for music), a curling iron for her hair, a snow globe, DVD's (Barbie, Pooh, Shrek), art tablets and fancy pens/pencils, books (the Pinkalicious series and Amelia Bedilia), a wristwatch, and an alarm clock.  Wu Yi loves to listen to music, both in the car and in the house.  She also likes to sing and has a microphone hooked up to Don's guitar amp so that she can sing really loud to her favorite stuff.  She LOVES Justin Beiber.  Also Selena Gomez (Justin's girlfriend in case you don't keep up, duh), Adele, Pink, and Black Eyed Peas.  She also likes the Barbie soundtracks and songs from Disney cartoons.

As soon as she was done opening her presents, she immediately packed them all up in her arms and took them to her room.  I explained to her that we usually keep toys in the living room for a couple of days so everyone can just hang out and play together.  Her response was "but they're MINE"!  Understandable, I know.  She came to America with almost no possessions, and now she is a bit of a packrat.  The good thing is that she is not so possessive that she can't share.  In fact, she is usually pretty generous.  As with all things, if she has trouble sharing, I can just remind her how she might like to play with something that belongs to someone else, and she is quick to comply.  She tries very hard to please me and also just to be good in general.  She really thrives on praise.  I don't think she got enough praise or attention in China, but I do think she was raised to make good decisions and to work hard.  As always, I am eternally grateful to all of the people who make up her "first family".

A first Christmas ~ the Santa conversation

I think it was way back in October when WuYi first asked me about Santa Claus.  She had seen images of the jolly elf when she lived in China (so did Don and I ~ he was randomly featured taped up in store windows, sun faded,very out of season, and usually next to Darth Vader or Barack Obama) but she had no idea his purpose or true identity.  I was poorly prepared for the conversation ~ I figured I had at least another month before Santa would enter general conversation ~ but I did my best to wing it.  I explained that Santa was a very nice fellow in a fancy red suit, who once a year visited homes of children and left them presents.  That time of year was Christmas.  She had known a bit about Christmas for several months, as we have a year-round Christmas store in downtown Coeur d'Alene which features trees decorated in every imaginable theme.  Wu Yi loves to go inside and admire the tree decorated in pink with ballet slippers, tutus, and tiaras.  Anyway, before I could explain much more, she interupted me and demanded to know if he was REAL.  Yikes!  After a  moment I knew that I had no choice but to tell her the truth.  I have done my best for almost a year to form a trusting relationship with her and its just not worth risking.  Besides, Santa is supposed to bring presents to all the children of the world, and WuYi was never included in that story.  She enjoyed the Christmas conversation immensely (especially knowing we would decorate a tree, bake cookies, and get presents) and I had to caution her not to tell other kids that Santa wasn't legit.  She was pretty confused about why parents would lie to their kids about such a thing.  The best I could offer her by way of explanation was to say "because its fun".  As she bounced off my bed, satisfied with her understanding of things, I quickly realized that I had a big problem.  My 9 year old son, Evan, is still a believer. (What have I done???!!!)

Ski Season

Kellen on his snowboard

Evan on his skis

Wu Yi's first run on the bunny hill

Evan and Wu Yi taking a break

Daniel giving Wu Yi some pointers

We are definitely a skiing family!  Don has been a ski instructor for over 15 years.  Daniel got his first job this winter as a Jr ski instructor.  All three of the boys were on skis at the age of 3.  I started skiing as an adult. I'm not a bad skier, but not really a good one either.  Don gets the credit for our kids loving the mountain and I love watching them get better each year.  Daniel started outskiing me about 3 years ago.  Kellen and I were evenly matched about that same time, and then he switched to snowboarding.  I'm sure Evan will be hot on my tail this year!

Wu Yi saw the occasional snowfall in China.  It was never more than an inch or two, and it was never meant to play in. 

When she first landed in the US, 9 1/2 months ago, there was alot of snow on the ground.  I don't know if she was excited by it or not.  She was a pretty unhappy girl at the time ~ she had alot of other things on her mind, I'm quite sure.  By the time she started to come out of her shell, the snow had melted for the season.

One thing Wu Yi spends hours doing is looking at our family photo albums.  She pours over every photo and wants to know every story.  She reminds me of things we did years ago that I have a hard time even remembering.  She is learning our history this way and I think she really wants to have every experience that she missed out on. This is how she learned that snow really IS meant for playing in.

Before fall was over, she started talking about playing in snow.  She wanted to make a snowman, a snow angel, ride on a sled, wear new snow boots (she tried to throw her old red ones away ~ AAAGGGHHH!), have a snowball fight, and go skiing.  I took her to the ski swap and bought her some new pink skis.  (This was a first.  Don usually takes care of all the skiing equipment and the boys have never had anything new.  Despite this, she was still rather indignant that she was getting boots that were handed down from Evan ~ they were PURPLE and WHITE.  I mean, poor Evan!)  She was also unhappy to not get ski "sticks" (poles).  Had to explain to her that she had to learn to move without them first.

We headed up to the mountain for Don and Daniel to do some orientation for their jobs.  We really didn't plan to take WuYi out to ski until Don could go with her (he was recovering from surgery and wasn't ready to put skis on).  We took her skis up anyway and as soon as she saw the other skiiers, she was ready to try it!  Schweitzer has whats called a "magic carpet" which is a gentle slope on the top of the bunny hill that has a carpet escalator that takes kids slowly back to the top.  (Much less scary than the chair lift).  Don walked along with her as she skied down the slope and then rode back up.  She was a little nervous and uncomfortable and at the end of the first run she asked to go in the lodge.  Don encouraged her to do "two more runs"  (each run took about 10 minutes).  By the time she finished the 2nd run, she asked Don if she could do "nine more runs"!  He was amazed by how coordinated, strong, and competitive she is. I can't believe we got a daughter that loves to camp and ski as much as we do!  How cool is that!

The next day she wanted to ski the entire bunny hill.  Don was working and I hadn't taken my skis up.  Another friend of ours offered to take her, but Wu Yi really wanted me to go.  (And, of course, I didn't want to miss it!)  I coached her a bit on turning and stopping and then enlisted Evan to take the lead.  The two of them skied while I hiked down behind them in my snow boots.  She got a little nervous on some of the steeper sections and when people skied by her too closely, but she was really determined to do it and only wrecked once or twice.  (They weren't really too bad ~ mostly  "sit downs").  I was nervous about getting on the chair lift with her.  Despite the fact that I consider myself an outgoing and adventurous person, I have a tiny fear of heights.  I'm okay being responsible for myself on the lift, but I freak out a little bit if the person next to me needs any kind of help.  The lift operator was very helpful getting her on, and I protectively put my ski pole across her lap.  She gave me a dirty look and said "why are you doing that?"  (I guess she must have noticed that no other kids' moms were doing that).  Anyway, as soon as we were in the air, she started giggling hysterically and saying "I'm flying!  I'm flying!".  No fear at all!  She skied a few more runs and was tired but very happy by the end of the day.

Thanksgiving

What I'm thankful for!!

November

wu yi happy wu yi likes school i like to play with my friends eva

In case you were wondering how Wu Yi is doing in school, here she is getting ready to board the bus!  She has been riding the bus independently for the past two months.  Most of the time Evan is with her, but sometimes he has to go earlier by car for marimbas practice.  She typed the sentence below the picture ~ I only had to tell her how to spell "happy", "school" and "friends".  She loves that it is cold enought to wear her hot pink coat from China, and I love that she is so easy to find when she has it on!  :)

She continues to be in a regular 2nd grade classroom most of the day, with some time out to work with the ESL (English as a 2nd language) teacher, the speech therapist, and the reading specialists.  When in the regular classroom, she is frequently paired up with another student to work on assignments (usually her best friend Grace who is extremely smart!).  Wu Yi isn't bothered with receiving help, but when she is ready to do the material alone, she make that message very clear.  Her teacher says she is quick to raise her hand, rarely seems frustrated, and works very hard to follow along.  She is almost caught up to 2nd grade level in many of her math concepts (which she had started in China).  She gets many comments on how neat her writing is (another skill she mastered in China).  She has worked hard to master a good understanding of most of the alphabet sounds, and with this skill, she is starting to sound out words!  Whenever we read together, she drags her finger along under the words.  She has always loved to draw pictures and now she is adding captions to them.  In the car, she is initiating spelling games.  She gets her weekly homework assignments every Monday (some of it is the same as her classmates, and some of it is modified for her) and she is eager to get it done ASAP.  Such a bright and motivated girl! 

She continues to be very social and talks endlessly about her American girlfriends!

Wu Yi's first school concert, held on Veteran's Day.  The theme is "America"!  For several weeks leading up to this performance, she was singing her little heart out around the house ~ songs like "America the Beautiful" and "You're a Grand Old Flag".  She, of course, had to wear red, white, and blue on the big night.  She did really well!  I'm sure it must have been intimidating to stand before an auditorium of parents and be in the front row.  I was very emotional watching her.   This little Chinese girl who no longer speaks Mandarin, who only wants the blue eyed blonde Barbies, who hands the chop sticks back and asks for a fork instead.  I didn't want her to lose these things, but I realize that, for her, this is survival.  Its best to just let it happen.  Maybe down the road, she will look back and find her Asian heritage.

She continues to talk about her life in China, however.  I've learned more about her life with "Grandma", her foster mom that raised her from 18 months to 5 years.  We found a photo of the two of them together (thanks Ruby) and I framed an 8x10 of it and Wu Yi has it next to her bed.  She misses this woman very much and I am frustrated to not be able to communicate with her directly.  I send photos of Wu Yi to the orphanage every few months and can only hope they might share this information with Grandma.  Wu Yi tells me she was a foster mom to several of the orphanage kids and that she only lives a short walk away.  They were very poor, lived in a tiny house which leaked when it rained (Wu Yi would get wet in her bed).  They didn't have indoor plumbing and the outhouse smelled very bad.  They occasionally looked for food in the street.  Wu Yi was very nervous sharing some of these details with me.  I think she was afraid I would judge her or Grandma for being so poor.  You would never know she endured these living conditions, as she is very meticulous about grooming and food habits.  Grandma was always very kind to Wu Yi and when she was taken to live in the orphanage (to be placed for adoption), it was a tearful and difficult separation for both of them. I wish I could thank her for raising such a wonderful girl.

Wu Yi never understood why she went to the orphanage.  She grew to be happy there, especially to be surrounded by so many friends.  She didn't know it was temporary.  She didn't understand that all of the kids there were waiting for new permanent homes.  She is just now starting to understand the story of her life and the lives of her friends.  Its fortunate that both Evan and I have our own adoption stories to share with her, as this information is overwhelming for her to process.  She really handles it well though.  She is filled with questions and she also has some answers for me.   Together we are figuring it out!

First snow!